Some people think that developing a successful career is more important than spending time with family and friends while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays,there is an ongoing debate on
work
-life balance. While some people devote their entire life pursuing their profession, others, prefer to spend time with
love
Replace the word
loved
show examples
ones. It can be argued that those who commit to their
work
, do so out of the desire to make money, a standpoint I totally agree with.
Conversely
, workers who put kids
first
, I believe, could be because they want to be part of their
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
development. On the one hand, being fun of one's family can be due to a
long established
Add a hyphen
long-established
show examples
bond.
As a result
, some employees choose to spend more time with children away from
work
, with the aim of helping in their upbringing. As credible as
this
might be, it often comes with a price to the workplace: low output.
For example
,
a
Remove the article
apply
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research had shown that when the staff of an organization spend more time away from
work
, it usually
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
the fortunes of the company negatively. On the flip side, some
hires
Change the verb form
hire
show examples
like being workaholics, because it helps them to make more money which is used in providing for the family.
This
is very common in firms that pay their workforce on
hourly
Add an article
an hourly
show examples
basis.
This
set of professionals always
feel
Change the verb form
feels
show examples
accomplished by delivering on the mandates of their employers as well as helping them to
acheive
Correct your spelling
achieve
their set target. Eventually, these outfits will only promote those who were dedicated to service delivery.
For instance
, a friend of mine
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
recently enjoyed rapid promotion with
great
Correct article usage
a great
show examples
compensation package in his workplace following his dutifulness. In
conclussion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, it is indeed nice to be
Add an article
a concern
show examples
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
show examples
with our
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
emotional development, despite our official duties.
However
, I believe it's more rewarding to be
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
to our
work
for monetary gain and job satisfaction which is what we were recruited for.
Submitted by ibenekpor on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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