Some people think that developing a successful career is more important than spending time with family and friends while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #career #time #friends

Nowadays,there is an ongoing debate on

work

-life balance. While some people devote their entire life pursuing their profession, others, prefer to spend time with

love

Replace the word

loved

show examples

ones. It can be argued that those who commit to their

work

, do so out of the desire to make money, a standpoint I totally agree with.

Conversely

, workers who put kids

first

, I believe, could be because they want to be part of their

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

development. On the one hand, being fun of one's family can be due to a

long established

Add a hyphen

long-established

show examples

bond.

As a result

, some employees choose to spend more time with children away from

work

, with the aim of helping in their upbringing. As credible as

this

might be, it often comes with a price to the workplace: low output.

For example

Remove the article

apply

show examples

research had shown that when the staff of an organization spend more time away from

work

, it usually

affect

Change the verb form

affects

show examples

the fortunes of the company negatively. On the flip side, some

hires

Change the verb form

hire

show examples

like being workaholics, because it helps them to make more money which is used in providing for the family.

This

is very common in firms that pay their workforce on

hourly

Add an article

an hourly

show examples

basis.

This

set of professionals always

feel

Change the verb form

feels

show examples

accomplished by delivering on the mandates of their employers as well as helping them to

acheive

Correct your spelling

achieve

their set target. Eventually, these outfits will only promote those who were dedicated to service delivery.

For instance

, a friend of mine

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

recently enjoyed rapid promotion with

great

Correct article usage

a great

show examples

compensation package in his workplace following his dutifulness. In

conclussion

Correct your spelling

conclusion

, it is indeed nice to be

Add an article

a concern

show examples

concern

Wrong verb form

concerned

show examples

with our

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

emotional development, despite our official duties.

However

, I believe it's more rewarding to be

commited

Correct your spelling

committed

to our

work

for monetary gain and job satisfaction which is what we were recruited for.

Submitted by ibenekpor on Mon Feb 28 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that developing a successful career is more important than spending time with family and friends while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

some people say history is one of the most important School subjects.other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restriction on what they do To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In many governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?