Some people think hard work and determination bring sucess. Others think other factors such as money and good appearance are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #work #determination #sucess #factors #money #appearance

It is true that some

people

think the fundamental principles that lead to success are hard-working and persistence ,

besides

others argue that the key factors are

money

and being good-looking. From my perspective, while all these are necessary, I would contend that

money

is the only single essential thing for those who wish to achieve success. On the one hand, it is undeniable that the determination to work hard is essential for anyone who wants to earn a living and raise a family.

Firstly

, it is accurate in terms of employment, most

jobs

impose a heavy workload on employees. Even manual

jobs

such

as serving customers in stores, restaurants or supermarkets, offering minimum wages, or nine-to-five

jobs

, are

also

demanded a lot of effort and dedication.

Secondly

, having a determined attitude in works would help to broaden their horizons and get up after a failure. As a consequence, it helps

people

get used to many obstacles and learn how to overcome them which leads to a significant potential to develop themselves and deal with a tough situation. The only

people

who don't fail are the

people

who don't try.

On the other hand

, having

money

and attractive looking will bring many successful prospects, especially in the modern world like nowadays. It sounds materialistic but

people

tend to judge another one relying on their fashionable clothes and wealth. Without

money

, it is hard for those who want to run their own business or students who desire to study overseas.

For instance

, studying abroad demand huge tuition fees and if you don't have enough

money

to pay for it, it is mean you have to get a scholarship but so competitive.

In addition

, some influential

jobs

such

as models and singers usually require an appearance

that is

drop-dead gorgeous and attractive to others. To conclude, it is a sad reality that of all the factors most likely to bring success,

money

is, in my opinion, the most important.

Submitted by bachbeodo on Mon Feb 28 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

326 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think hard work and determination bring sucess. Others think other factors such as money and good appearance are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Your internet connection has been slow and intermittent Write a letter to your internet service provider to complain about. In the letter: – Describe the problem and why you are unhappy – Arrange for an engineer to visit your home – Request a reduction in your bill

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?

Your neighbours have recently written to you to complain about the noise from your house/ flat. Write a letter to your neighbours. In your letter: Explain the reasons for the noise. Apologise. Describe what action you will take.

You used a moving service to move your house.At your new address you discovered that some of the items were damaged.Write a letter to a manager of a company. *Give details of your move. *Describe your damage. *What you would like than to do.

Traffic congestion is becoming a huge problem for many major cities. Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce traffic in big cities.

You used a moving service to move your house.At your new address you discovered that some of the items were damaged.Write a letter to a manager of a company. Give details of your move. Describe your damage. *What you would like than to do.