Some people think hard work and determination bring sucess. Others think other factors such as money and good appearance are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is true that some
people
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think the fundamental principles that lead to success are hard-working and persistence ,
besides
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others argue that the key factors are
money
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and being good-looking. From my perspective, while all these are necessary, I would contend that
money
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is the only single essential thing for those who wish to achieve success. On the one hand, it is undeniable that the determination to work hard is essential for anyone who wants to earn a living and raise a family.
Firstly
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, it is accurate in terms of employment, most
jobs
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impose a heavy workload on employees. Even manual
jobs
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such
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as serving customers in stores, restaurants or supermarkets, offering minimum wages, or nine-to-five
jobs
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, are
also
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demanded a lot of effort and dedication.
Secondly
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, having a determined attitude in works would help to broaden their horizons and get up after a failure. As a consequence, it helps
people
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get used to many obstacles and learn how to overcome them which leads to a significant potential to develop themselves and deal with a tough situation. The only
people
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who don't fail are the
people
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who don't try.
On the other hand
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, having
money
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and attractive looking will bring many successful prospects, especially in the modern world like nowadays. It sounds materialistic but
people
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tend to judge another one relying on their fashionable clothes and wealth. Without
money
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, it is hard for those who want to run their own business or students who desire to study overseas.
For instance
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, studying abroad demand huge tuition fees and if you don't have enough
money
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to pay for it, it is mean you have to get a scholarship but so competitive.
In addition
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, some influential
jobs
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such
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as models and singers usually require an appearance
that is
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drop-dead gorgeous and attractive to others. To conclude, it is a sad reality that of all the factors most likely to bring success,
money
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is, in my opinion, the most important.
Submitted by bachbeodo on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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