Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks, discuss both Views

#media #age #groups #information #websites #risks

Over the era of globalization, It is deniable that social

media

these days has an important role for many

people

all over the world. Everything has both positive and negative sides.

However

, I strongly consisted the cons of social

media

are a significant impact on our lives in many ways. I will describe and give my personal opinion in

this

essay. Regarding the impact on individuals,

to begin

with

Add a comma

,with

show examples

human behaviours considerably changed from the past, they are more concentrated on good appearances

also

the number of reactions from their followers on social

media

Moreover

, it affects many

people

who get suffered from

this

issue into serious illnesses

such

as depression.

Lastly

, social

media

people

tend to focus on their Instagram, Facebook or TikTok than facing the satisfaction of real life in front of them. Turning to the social impact side,

firstly

, the number of crime news has occurred every day, criminals can easily investigate the data of the victim from social

media

For instance

Mr.

Change the punctuation

show examples

A always tags his location

real

Change preposition

in real

show examples

time, publishing his photo with luxury stuff, they are able to identify

this

information in order to attack Mr.A.

Secondly

, social bullying is another concern, many

people

comment and post negative words without recognition which could be a considerable cause for other

people

. Unhe, the famous Korean singer has

suicided

Replace the word

suicide

show examples

herself in 2019 after a long period of time getting negative feedback by comments from the anti-fans on social network applications. In conclusion, it can be clearly seen that social

media

provides disadvantages from the various changing social behaviours, mental illness or victims. It

also

offers benefits for

people

who truly understand how to using appropriately.

Submitted by mayokz.chalita on Mon Feb 28 2022

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks, discuss both Views

Your opinion

Students should pay their full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent you agree or disagree?

Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every yong person how to be a good parent Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent

the growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing.

Countries with long working days are more successful economically, but there are some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Modern professional women confront a difficulty that men don’t generally face: the struggle to balance the pressures of work and home. In your opinion, how can this difficulty best be ? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own knowledge or experiences.