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Writing Samples /
Band 5

‘Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity.’ How far do you share this viewpoint?

#‘everybody #amount #income #support #charity
There is an idea that
people
 should permanently allocate a fixed amount of their earnings to
charity
. It seems to me that being obliged to take part in supporting the charities will negatively affect. And I will explain the reasons in
this
 essay.
Firstly
,
people
 generally prefer contributing
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 donating organizations (
charity
) voluntarily.
Therefore
 when
people
 are forced to donate a part of their income consistently, they gradually might become unsatisfied with supporting the
charity
 and
also
this
 lead to
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
voluntarily
Change the adverb
voluntary
show examples
 affairs in society. A
second
 disadvantage is
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 financial condition. By
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 mean that
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 some
occasion’s
Change noun form
occasions
show examples
people
 has to invest their money based on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
futuristic programs, so they might need more money than
daily
Correct pronoun usage
their daily
show examples
 routine.
Furthermore
,
people
 might encounter several problems,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
,example
show examples
 sickness, unexpected events,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
retirement and
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
.
This
 affects their financial planning in a way that they have to spend unwillingly. The
last
 factor is
unstable
Correct article usage
the unstable
show examples
 economic condition that exists in some countries. Meaning that
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
increasing
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
 of living cost
as a result
 of inflation followed by unemployment, decrease
purchasing
Add an article
the purchasing
show examples
 power of
people
. So they are not able to afford their own
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 properly.
Although
 most
people
 are contented to help others,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
they should be able to make a decision freely. It is true that there are some positive points in donating a fixed amount to
charity
 by everybody permanently; the charities would have stable revenue by receiving money consistently every month so they would be able to make a plan to help needy
people
 considerably. Despite
this
, it seems that it would cause a significant unsatisfactory sense among
people
 in humanitarian affairs. To conclude, the problems of financial affairs of
people
 during
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
, declining health, unexpected events and economic instability combine together make obliged paying to
charity
 unpleasant.
However
, all
people
 are not
sopposing
Correct your spelling
opposing
supposing
 to
this
 matter but it appears to be the case very frequently.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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