IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarket in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples form you knowledge or experience.

#development #expansion #supermarket #countries #business #people #closure #death #communities #form
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Globalization and Industrialization of the world
is
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are
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 pacing
up-most
Correct your spelling
up most
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, which is
benefit
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a benefit
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 for a few and a loss for some
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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. In
such
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 a way, supermarkets or
marts
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 are increasing day by day irrespective of the economy of a particular place, which is putting a difficult situation for local business communities, small shops etc, who depend on their daily wage income. I partially agree
to
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with
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 the statement regards to the close of small markets due to supermarts. In
this
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 essay, let's try to attempt with
few
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a few
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 points and possible analogies.
To begin
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 with, we can observe
on
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apply
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how the roaring incline of
marts
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have
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has
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 been installed in every country despite
of
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apply
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its
neccesity
Correct your spelling
necessity
. Earlier, I have mentioned my statement describing my partial agreement. Primarily, the main agenda is, when compared to the past, we have arisen to a world where
impossible
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the impossible
an impossible
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 task has become possible because of technology,
similarly
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 the rapid increase of these
marts
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 can be a closure the local markets. My reasons mainly constitute to the comparison of prices and the discounts allowed in
marts
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 as the product is being exchanged within two hands.
However
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, when we talk about local shops, it's different as the process of distribution of the product is done in a chain manner.
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Second
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The second
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 point is how a mart has A-Z products from Edible items to electronic goods. With
next
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 to
of
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apply
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all these reasons, from my experience when I have visited Nepal a couple of years, I have observed there are
relatively
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a relatively
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 higher number of local shops than
marts
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 which was surreal. When we enquired the reason behind it from local shop merchants,
there
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their
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 answer was, no matter what comes for our way of competition we always rise with respect and love we give to customers whom we believe as our god's. In a nutshell,
although
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 a lot of things are changing
but
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apply
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a few ethics remained
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 which can be a scope for markets to not be
an
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a
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 dead end.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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