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Writing Samples
Band 4

Mobile phone usage is held responsible for a lot of medical, social and technical problems. What forms do these problems take? Do you agree that the problems outweigh the advantages offered by mobile phones? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#phone #usage #forms #phones
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Mobile
Correct article usage
The mobile
show examples
phone
 is an important gadget for human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
 nowadays. It can not be denied that mobile
phone
 plays an important role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 human living. It can be both useful and
also
 harmful for
people
 in both medical, social or technical problems. Certainly,
this
agruement
Correct your spelling
agreement
argument
 had both agree and disagree
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 which will be described in the following paragraphs before the conclusion is reached. On the one hand, it can not be
denined
Correct your spelling
denied
defined
 that mobile
phone
 is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 human
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if that person
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not using a mobile
phone
 in
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 useful or correct way. Mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 contain UV light which might be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 the eye or the signal which might be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 their brain or even by using
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
 much mobile
phone
 can cause aches on their hands and finger. Using
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
 mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 can
also
 cause a social problem. Many
people
 are facing a problem when they meet new
people
 in person as they
also
 talk to
people
 online which they might not need to care of their image as they should.
On the other hand
,
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a balance in using a mobile
phone
 will provide more advantages to the user
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
than being a harmful device. Mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 contain plenty of good information. It allows
people
 to easier store notes and pictures and
also
 to communicate with other
people
 from a long distance easily. To summarize
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 can be agreed that mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 can cause a problem for the user.
However
, in my opinion,
mobile
Add an article
a mobile
the mobile
show examples
phone
 can be more useful than harmful if the person is using the mobile
phone
 in the correct way.
Submitted by nuanpan.aumm on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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