IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more people are choosing to eat healthy food and making time to exercise regularly. Why and what can we do to encourage this ?

#people #food #time #exercise
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In
today
Change noun form
today's
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 world,
health
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 is extremely vital to everybody, it is a key to help
people
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 do
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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 more
Correct your spelling
smoothly
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smoothy
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smoothly
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, numerous
of
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apply
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people
Use synonyms
 are into eating healthy
food
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 and spending time doing exercises frequently. Due to
this
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 state, I will explain the factors and the actions
must
Correct pronoun usage
that must
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 be done to encourage
this
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.
First
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 of all, it is evident that fresh
food
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bring
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brings
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big
Add an article
a big
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 amount of nutrition. Meanwhile, eating lots of vegetarians,
less
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fewer
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 calories
food
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such
Linking Words
 as fast
food
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 will provide you
Add the preposition
with a
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a huge sources
Correct the article-noun agreement
a huge source
huge sources
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 of energy. It
not
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does not
did not
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also
Linking Words
 improve your mental
health
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 but
also
Linking Words
 help you feel fresh. Following that, having a suitable
work out
Correct your spelling
workout
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 routine
also
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 increase your physical
health
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.
In addition
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, doing
sport
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sports
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,
such
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 as
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sky
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skying
Correct your spelling
skiing
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, basketball, soccer or
go
Wrong verb form
going
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 to the gym after or before going to work can help you release stress, and refresh your energy. As you can see, eating healthy
food
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 and doing exercises regularly bring you various advantages.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
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 should have the awareness of taking care of
their
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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 as soon as possible. Government should build more
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
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 with lots of trees and equipment to make an opportunity for
people
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 to practice. More
advertisement
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advertisements
show examples
 which content is about benefits of eating less fast
food
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 should be made to aware
people
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. To
Correct your spelling
sum
show examples
sump
Correct your spelling
sum
show examples
 up, providing healthy
food
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 to our body and taking exercises frequently brings various
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
significant
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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. It
make
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makes
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 your life more comfortable and less
stress
Replace the word
stressful
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.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
 as you get old, you might spend less money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 solving your
health
Use synonyms
 problems
Submitted by nguyenminhman21691 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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