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Band 4.5

More and more people are choosing to eat healthy food and making time to exercise regularly. Why and what can we do to encourage this ?

#people #food #time #exercise
In
today
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today's
show examples
 world,
health
 is extremely vital to everybody, it is a key to help
people
 do
thing
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things
show examples
 more
Correct your spelling
smoothly
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smoothy
Correct your spelling
smoothly
show examples
.
Therefore
, numerous
of
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apply
show examples
people
 are into eating healthy
food
 and spending time doing exercises frequently. Due to
this
 state, I will explain the factors and the actions
must
Correct pronoun usage
that must
show examples
 be done to encourage
this
.
First
 of all, it is evident that fresh
food
bring
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brings
show examples
big
Add an article
a big
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 amount of nutrition. Meanwhile, eating lots of vegetarians,
less
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fewer
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 calories
food
such
 as fast
food
 will provide you
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
a huge sources
Correct the article-noun agreement
a huge source
huge sources
show examples
 of energy. It
not
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does not
did not
show examples
also
 improve your mental
health
 but
also
 help you feel fresh. Following that, having a suitable
work out
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workout
show examples
 routine
also
 increase your physical
health
.
In addition
, doing
sport
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sports
show examples
,
such
 as
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sky
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skying
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skiing
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, basketball, soccer or
go
Wrong verb form
going
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 to the gym after or before going to work can help you release stress, and refresh your energy. As you can see, eating healthy
food
 and doing exercises regularly bring you various advantages.
Therefore
,
people
 should have the awareness of taking care of
their
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
 as soon as possible. Government should build more
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
 with lots of trees and equipment to make an opportunity for
people
 to practice. More
advertisement
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advertisements
show examples
 which content is about benefits of eating less fast
food
 should be made to aware
people
. To
Correct your spelling
sum
show examples
sump
Correct your spelling
sum
show examples
 up, providing healthy
food
 to our body and taking exercises frequently brings various
of
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apply
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significant
benefit
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benefits
show examples
. It
make
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makes
show examples
 your life more comfortable and less
stress
Replace the word
stressful
show examples
.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
 as you get old, you might spend less money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 solving your
health
 problems
Submitted by nguyenminhman21691 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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