Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

It is clear that

music

is in every part of our life and no one can live without

music

. In my opinion,

music

is not only pleasing for the ears but it

also

contributes positively to bringing

people

from different cultural backgrounds and age groups together.

First

and foremost,

music

creates more common topics among the audience. Regardless of their age or origin, they could all appreciate masterpieces created by skilful musical artists.

For instance

, singers like Michale Jackson, he has billions of followers in the world.

Although

the followers are all different in terms of age and cultural background, they still have a commonality — they all love Michale Jackson’s

songs

, and

this

serves as a bridge that connects these fans together. On top of that,

songs

improve listeners’ perceptions of other cultures. When

people

listen to folk

music

or country

music

, the descriptive lyrics in the

songs

and the emotions conveyed allow the listeners to better understand the singers’ culture. In many cases,

people

even learn to appreciate others' cultures after they listen to the

songs

For example

, country

music

like Take Me Home Country Road conveys Americans' love for their homeland, when others, who are culturally different, listen to

this

song, they understand how patriotic Americans are.

As a result

, it becomes easier for them to relate to Americans' patriotism. In conclusion, it is undeniable that

music

plays a crucial role in forging ties in society and drawing

people

of different ethnicities and ages together. Not only does it create a bond between listeners ,but it

also

enhances listeners' cultural understanding of others.

Submitted by youhua94 on Tue Mar 01 2022

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The diagram below preserts the lifecyle of a species of large fish called the salmon

Some people think that politicians have the greatest influence on the world, while others think scientists make the greatest contribution to the world. Discuss both views!

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