IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Some people believe that
school
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 setting can develop
children
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 to grow up with
good
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the good
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 quality of life , there are many promotive methods to make them smarter and could adapt themselves to the new surrounding peacefully. The schoolmates in the classroom can bring about the way how to live with other people in the sophisticated society. If one of
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students
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the students
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 are different from the others, they probably were perceived as unique persons, and the other
students
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Correct your spelling
prone
proned
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are proned
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 to treat them differently
to
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from
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common
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the common
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 ones. Regarding
to
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apply
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bullying issues in the
school
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 setting, there are many relative causes of
this
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 problem,
such
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 as
the
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apply
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disabled
children
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, autism, mental illness and other conditions that made them look unfamiliar. Most of them could express something by teaching from parents or
school
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 teachers, and when somebody were bullied by their peers, we need to find more suitable solutions to make
this
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 problem varnished.
Moreover
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, stress and peer pressure have some negative impacts
to
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on
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 the
students
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 ‘learning performance. There are many problems from bullying from
the
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apply
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peers
for example
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; being unconfident , aggressive or
express
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expressing
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the
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apply
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anger to the victim. If the
students
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 were bullied many
time
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times
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, it might
left
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leave
be left
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such
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 large scars
to
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on
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 their minds and they could not concentrate enough
in
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on
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 their studies. I strongly suggest that attitude and behaviour changes could help the special
children
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 to get through as bullying victims. The teachers or the parents need to change their thoughts that everyone
are
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is
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 equal and the
children
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 need to respect
to
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apply
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each other. It is not only about changing their attitudes
,
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apply
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 but it is
also
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 related to sharing and caring for their special friends. Importantly, a
school
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 teacher needs to be a good role model to treat the special
children
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 in a similar way and provide some opportunities for them to express what they feel and need. In conclusion, prevention of bullying in
school
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 is the most important method for
this
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 solution, the parents or the teachers need to encourage the
students
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 to see the equity in the humanities. People could be born from different conditions, but we need to give them more opportunities to live in our society happily with a good environment.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Bullying
  • Harassment
  • Intimidation
  • Diversity
  • Adolescent
  • Mimic
  • Aggressive behavior
  • Cyberbullying
  • Peer pressure
  • Social acceptance
  • Awareness
  • Conflict resolution
  • Peer mediation
  • Consequences
  • Respect
  • Kindness
  • Open communication
  • Vulnerable
  • Buddy system
What to do next:
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