one of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy

Nowadays,when the world appears to have more and more strange diseases,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

improved medical

care

is really needed . People said that the increase of living longer and

life

expectancy brings both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

benefits and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

drawbacks. In my opinion,the

beneifits

Correct your spelling

benefits

benefit

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

improved medical

care

prevail over the disadvantages. Each of us spends our lives studying and working with the aim of enjoying our own results. We wish that we have a lot of

health

to love and take

care

of our loved ones.

For example

, when

life

expectancy is

increasingincreasingly

Correct your spelling

increasing increasingly

, grandparents could live longer with their children and grandchildren. Every year, the government spends a proportion of its budget on medical

care

and results. That will be the most effective way for humans to invent drugs and vaccines as more and more strange diseases appear.

Moreover

, scientists or professors with a huge amount of knowledge will continue to be taught

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

generation.

However

, being able to live longer

also

leads to some problems. It can be said that the job opportunities of young people and fresh graduates become lower when the job positions are still held by the old people.

Moreover

, the development of

health

care

also

means that if you want to live a long

life

, you have to spend a large amount of money to be able to take

care

of your

health

For example

, when you

havinge

Correct your spelling

having

have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cancer revenue, surgery and treatment

costs

Change the verb form

cost

show examples

lots

Correct the article-noun agreement

lot

show examples

of money.

Nevertheless

, it is your own

health

, having

health

is having everything. In conclusion,longer

life

expectancy far outweighs the disadvantages.

Life

is precious and we should spend money on medical

care

in any way possible.

Submitted by jakedth162 on Tue Mar 01 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

277 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

consequences
improved medical care
life expectancy
advantages
disadvantages
healthcare
quality of life
population
economic burden
elderly
dependency
technology
ethical concerns

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one of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that activities of large multinational companies mostly benefit the economies of developing countries, other people take the opposite view and feel these large multinationals are harmful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

İn some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both two views and give your opinion.

In the past, knowledge was stored in books. Today, people stored knowledge on the Internet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history about house or building they live in. What are reason for this? how can people research it?

Life was better when technology was simpler. To what extent do you agree or disagree?