IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

#world #life #expectancy #individuals #society #measures #impact #populations
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Child’s development
in
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apply
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nowadays has been triggering some discussions about the
influence
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 of
media
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, pop culture, and
friends
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 in how kids react and think towards their surroundings. Apart from that, some people still set in their way that family plays the most significant role. As I have been observing
since
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for
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 the past years, I must say I totally agree that family is no longer the major
influence
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 due to several reasons. In essence, it has been believed that family is the
first
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 school of
the
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apply
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children
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, as taught
on
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in
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the
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apply
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sociology books over the decades.
Thus
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, what they are seeing from their family, especially their parents, can be easily imitated in their daily behaviour.
For example
Linking Words
, if parents implement
the
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strict rules,
children
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 tend to be more
discipline
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disciplined
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 and do some things in order. We can say that parents’ behaviour in developing their
children
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 will always be run in the family.
Besides
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, we
also
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 cannot close our eyes that technology is significantly showing the uptrend year by year. Data from The Economist says that
gadget
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gadgets
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 and internet uses is increasing sharply
since
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from
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 2014 till 2021. With the rise of them, the
influence
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 of
media
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 and pop culture cannot be resisted. Even though the family does not talk too much about them,
children
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 still have
the
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apply
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access through the presence of
friends
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 they are meeting
in
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apply
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daily. Kids can easily follow what their
friends
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 talk and do,
also
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 imitate the happening trend in social
media
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, without really knowing
the
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their
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 actual meaning of them. Overall, it is easier
to
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for
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child
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children
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 to imitate their surroundings by the
influence
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 of
media
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, pop culture, and
friends
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; rather than imitate the parents’ taught especially when they have
the
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apply
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actively working parents.
Submitted by nadita.ayudya on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average life expectancy
  • developed world
  • increase
  • individuals
  • society
  • personal goals
  • ambitions
  • quality of life
  • leisure
  • recreation
  • healthcare costs
  • challenges
  • healthcare system
  • ageing population
  • shortage
  • available workers
  • economy
  • retirement planning
  • healthy lifestyles
  • investing
  • social support systems
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