IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #visitors #countries #customs #behaviour #host #country #differences
Tourism plays
vital
Add an article
a vital
show examples
 role
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all over the world
however
 there are predominantly two contrasting views where
section
Add an article
a section
the section
show examples
 of society vehemently deems that they follow the
culture
 of their own
country
 while others
emphasizes
Change the verb form
emphasize
show examples
 that the overseas should welcome cultural differences . Apparently,various factors make a section of
people
 advocate that visitors should follow the
customs
 of the
country
 where they will travel and have many reasons to substantiate it.
The
Correct article usage
First
show examples
first
 and foremost , when they reach into other states the
people
 of that
country
 do not allow
people
 to change the
culture
 of the
country
 . They think that it is their own
country
 and if they come from overseas they need to follow the behaviour of the person who already
live
Change the verb form
lives
show examples
 there and give respect to their
culture
.
For example
- according to the recent survey done by a
stafford
Change the capitalization
Stafford
show examples
 university 80%
australians
Change the capitalization
Australians
show examples
 think that the cultural differences increases due to
touristers
Correct your spelling
tourists
tourist
.
Secondly
, every
country
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
own
Correct pronoun usage
its own
show examples
 religion if we went there for
sometime
Replace the word
some time
show examples
 we need to follow their
culture
 to keep
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 calm and peaceful.
On the other hand
 , some believe that host
counrty
Correct your spelling
country
 should need to accept
culture
Add an article
the culture
a culture
show examples
 of other
countries
 for
myriad
Add an article
a myriad
show examples
 of reasons.chiefly, with different cultures the
people
 of different
countries
csn
Correct your spelling
can
 share their
customs
 with each other and it will
furthur
Correct your spelling
further
 lead to decrease in diversity snd increase in
lovingliness
Correct your spelling
loveliness
loneliness
slovenliness
 around the world and it will
also
 beneficial to increase the economic growth of the
country
 which will
furthur
Correct your spelling
further
 lead to gain more success .
Furthermore
, it has tremendous benefits for future
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
 as they do
import export
Add a hyphen
import-export
show examples
 business with different regions and gain profits. In my profound opinion, cultural diversity is important but we need to give respect to every religion as it is helpful to get more visitors from other
countries
 which will be good for the growth of the
country
. In every
country
, different
customs
 so if anybody travel from one region to other areas they always need to follow the custom of that
country
 to remain good relations and the
hodt
Correct your spelling
host
hot
country
people
 need to set up some rules for visitors so that way it will not
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 the
countries
customs
.
Submitted by Jasskaur9148 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural understanding
  • cultural harmony
  • local customs and behaviours
  • host country's traditions
  • unintentional offense
  • enhance the travel experience
  • cultural fabric
  • inclusive society
  • diverse society
  • global understanding
  • mutual respect
  • respect for local customs
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!