Some people think personal happiness is directly related to economic success, while others believe this depends on other factors. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

It is undeniable believe that
people
are different facilities and better than
life
is so they are
happiness
Replace the word
happy
show examples
. Some
individuals
think of economic
success
and other factors.
although
, not only
necessarily
Replace the word
necessary
show examples
but
also
accessible.I
strongly
Add a missing verb
am strongly
show examples
part of various factors of
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
satisfaction with
jobs
and
sound
health
and social terms. To commence with, some
people
believe that
happiness
is directly related to economic
success
. That can pursuit
hobbies
in the related various
hobbies
in different
people
. We can not some
individuals
in better than
hobbies
and happy in
life
.there must
personals
Replace the word
personal
show examples
happiness
in
success
life
to economic
success
.
People
can only enjoy every day in a happy
life
in better status. Which can own happy
life
the economic
success
.there can
hobby
Add a missing verb
be hobby
show examples
in many
people
a lot of various religions and various
people
.
Individuals
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
only
necessarily
Replace the word
necessary
show examples
but
also
accessible to any
problems
in items.
On the other hand
, I believe that the depends on other factors are satisfied with the
jobs
and work other employment are satisfied
jobs
and not spend money and they are employed to own work in the satisfied to the
life
. They are
sound
health
in the effects of
health
and distribution in are
people
to the not
happiness
and are disturbing
life
. They are reading books and other
people
are
sound
in high volumes to listen to music . There are
health
problems
that
depends
Change the verb form
depend
show examples
on
individuals
.
For instance
,children are a lot of disturbing and
sound
pollution there are other
people
to
health
problems
. In conclusion, while some
people
believe that personal
happiness
and pursuing
hobbies
. I argued the depends on being satisfied with
jobs
and work .
Also
,
sound
health
problems
.
Submitted by ozajay9988 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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