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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In order to truly innovate, continued hard work is more important than intelligence. To what extent do you agree with this statement and why?

#work #intelligence
In
this
 competitive world in order to accomplish greater things
everyone
 needs to go into overdrive than solely depending on the brainpower. It is highly agreed that for greater achievements working hard is crucial.A
person
 with high intellectual skills and not doing anything will not get a result and intelligence is in a way can be achieved by experience and understanding more and more about what we are doing.
Firstly
,Hard work will beat talent when talent does not work hard enough,which suggests that an intelligent
person
 will not be able to reach great goals until dedicatedly working for it. For example,the famous Elon Musk is an
extra ordinary
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extraordinary
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person
 who always
find
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finds
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ways to reach his success in each
ideas
Change to a singular noun
idea
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.Innovators often need the passion and mindset to
achive
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achieve
 the aims.
Secondly
, to be
successfull
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successful
 in life
everyone
 should be able to face the hardship that comes along with it. Intelligence is in a way help but
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
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everyone
 need a fire within them to overcome each and every
barriers
Change to a singular noun
barrier
show examples
 they meet.Success can not be accomplished via a floral path it's often a path of thorns and stones.The founder of KFC was a
person
 who was rejected by so many people but he really worked for it
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and
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an
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and
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atlast
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at last
atlas
 he became so famous that nowadays it's a leading brand all over the world. To conclude,innovators are always the outcome of
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 rather than brainwork.
Everyone
 should be working dedicatedly for their goals with the mind of a runner.I
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believe
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belive
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believe
show examples
 that success is always the result of
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
.
Submitted by ammusudha21 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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