IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Global environment issues are the responsibility of rich nations not of poorer nations. Do you agree with this opinion?

#environment #responsibility #nations
Increased weather critical problems are analysed across the world.Developed countries are working rigorously to resolve climate issues.On the other side developing countries are unable to concentrate
due to
 insufficient funding.I admit,it is equal responsibility to look into the global warming concern by all the nations.
However
,wealthy communities can spend more money than poorer ones.
This
 essay will discuss and clarify to focus more on the motherlands by some possible remedies.
Firstly
,there are so many challenges in deprived states.
For instance
,unemployment,crime ratios,
poverty
Correct word choice
and poverty
show examples
 must be reduced on priority
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
 atmospheric hurdles.
Due to
this
,substandard nations cannot invest to filter the inline concerns of scenery.
However
,the authorities can motivate the people who wish to work free of cost to figure out the circumstances of their surroundings.I agree,
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
 government is the main front door to initiate the possible solutions for it.
In addition
, it became no option for them to fulfil the basic needs of pupils.
For instance
,a huge population need job opportunities,food,
shelter
Correct word choice
and shelter
show examples
 to survive
mainly
Rephrase
more
show examples
 than these ambience issues.Still,they can contribute to preserving and
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
show examples
 environmental activities.
Secondly
,powerful countries are sorted in terms of businesses,career scopes,
daily
Correct word choice
and daily
show examples
 requirements.To illustrate,in
japan
Capitalize word
Japan
show examples
 they invented an electric vehicle which
eradicate
Change the verb form
eradicates
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
harmful gases and
nurture
Change the verb form
nurtures
show examples
 the zones.Most of the industries are using electric transportation to save the environment.Obviously,financially sound nations can target the controversies related to the forecast.In my view,they should inaugurate the projects globally,so it could support avoiding accidental conditions
such
 as floods,earthquakes,
intense
Correct word choice
and intense
show examples
 temperature
rise
Correct subject-verb agreement
rises
show examples
 happening yearly across the globe.
Moreover
,wealthy regions can assist with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 partial amount of money to the sick zones.It would build the relationships between them
as well as
 eliminate the lack of funding problems.It would result in stabilising or minimising the risk of increasing global warming.
In
Rephrase
Lastly
show examples
last
,moneyed lands must stand up for the poor public being economically strong.Internationally bonding within the world can assure the safety of the habitat. Developing communities can
also
 figure out the mother nature maintenance at early stages with the manual activities.
Submitted by urvashi.rawal26 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: