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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school, while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. You should write at least 250 words.

#argument #case #reader #specialist #topic #people #art #children #school #waste #time
In
this
 competitive world, educational institutes
designs
Change the verb form
design
show examples
 their curriculum to cover
broad
Add an article
a broad
show examples
 range of
subjects
 and try to teach the ones which are not related to
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
show examples
 stream
such
 as
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
art
. According to a few,
this
 can be beneficial to students while others believe that it is waste of
time
. In my opinion, along with main
subjects
, learning
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
art
 will be an added advantage. Though science and commerce
subjects
 are being considered more important,
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
art
 plays
vital
Add an article
a vital
show examples
 role in
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
 education. In bygone days only
Correct your spelling
mainstream
show examples
main stream
Correct your spelling
mainstream
show examples
curriculum
Fix the agreement mistake
curricula
show examples
 were the top choices for
Correct your spelling
learners
show examples
leaners
Correct your spelling
learners
show examples
 while in
this
 contemporary world artistic
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 plays an
equal
Change the adjective
equally
show examples
 important role because learning them in parallel can cultivate an interest and young ones can explore
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 potential as a
second
 career. To illustrate, an engineering student who learnt graphics design is now able to create
non fungible
Add a hyphen
non-fungible
show examples
 tokens for their artworks and sell them in
cryptocurrency
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the cryptocurrency
show examples
 market.
On the other hand
, people
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 that teaching
non
Add a hyphen
non-main
show examples
main stream
Correct your spelling
mainstream
show examples
subject
 can not be helpful because
person
Add an article
the person
a person
show examples
 will never implement that learning in their professional career
hence
 that will be a
time wasting
Add a hyphen
time-wasting
show examples
.
For example
, teaching
sanskrit
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Sanskrit
show examples
 language to a
sceince
Correct your spelling
science
 student could not aid in their
post study
Add a hyphen
post-study
show examples
 life;
instead
Add a comma
,instead
show examples
 that
time
 can be efficiently utilised for
other scientific study
Change the wording
another scientific study
other scientific studies
show examples
.
Hence
,
more
Correct article usage
the more
show examples
 they focus on
related
Add an article
the related
show examples
subject
 matter,
better
Correct article usage
the better
show examples
 they excel in their path. In my opinion, learning an
art
subject
 during schooling might require an additional effort but it may lead to
explore
Change the verb form
exploring
show examples
 other opportunities for students
hence
 there is no harm in getting
an additional knowledge
Remove the article
additional knowledge
a piece of additional knowledge
show examples
. To conclude, in
this
 challenging
time
, teaching all
subjects
 can be
treaky
Correct your spelling
tricky
streaky
, especially including
art
 in main curricula. While some people think that it would not serve any purpose, according to others it could be
competitive
Add an article
a competitive
show examples
 advantage to pupils and so do I opine the same.
Submitted by hvyas on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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