Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #technology

Nowadays, modern

technology

is becoming more popular and plays a vital role in

people

’s life. Some

people

argue that

technology

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

people

more sociable and communicative,

while

others argue that it makes

people

withdrawn.

This

essay will discuss both sides and views in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, modern

technology

has made

people

less sociable. The

face to

Add a hyphen

face-to-face

show examples

face

communication that we had in the past now it has been replaced with social networks like Facebook,

Instagram

Correct word choice

and Instagram

show examples

People

no longer leave their homes to meet with

friends

or relatives. Even on occasions

such

as birthdays or weddings,

people

just send them virtual greetings and

this

largely destroyed the warmth between

people

. Many

people

now have

friends

in different countries, but most of them are not eager to talk to

people

sitting near them.

For instance

, many young

people

absolutely have no interest

Change preposition

show examples

walking outside or playing contact games,

instead

Add a comma

,instead

show examples

they are busy

Change preposition

apply

show examples

chatting on the Internet with virtual

friends

or playing games on the computer.

On the other hand

technology

has really enhanced our social networks and made

people

more socially active. The majority of us now have

friends

all over the

world

and we stay

connecting

Wrong verb form

connected

show examples

with our family or

friends

living in different parts of

country

Add an article

the country

show examples

Moreover

, current

technology

opens more possibilities for individuals.

Huge

Correct article usage

A huge

show examples

amount of

people

around the

world

use

Change the verb form

uses

show examples

socializing

Replace the word

social

show examples

applications to get

knowledges

Change the wording

knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

show examples

and to know what happens in the

world

and their surroundings.

To conclude

, modern

technology

is a great tool for socializing.

However

, if we will not use it properly, it will affect our ability to connect with real

people

in the real

world

and make us socially withdrawn. In my opinion,

people

should find

balance

Add an article

a balance

the balance

show examples

between virtual and real

face to

Add a hyphen

face-to-face

show examples

face

communication.

Submitted by Allazhar on Tue Mar 01 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

online marketplaces
mobile payment options
personalized advertising
accessibility
compare prices
decision fatigue
impulse buying
financial imprudence
privacy and data security
transformed
streamlined
user-friendly

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Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for comunication outweigh the disadvantages?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that individuals are born to be leaders, others believe leadership can be learnt. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that it is the best to save money, for exemple in a bank or savings scheme. Other people feel that money should be spent whenever it is available. Discuss these views and reach on opinion on this debate

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Is this a positive or a negative development?