IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure avtivites. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #avtivites #situation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, the world is full of working time. All people tend to always work without thinking about spare time to do many pivotal and useful activities.
This
Linking Words
 essay will argue that full-time working will affect social relationships, physical and mental health, and stress relief. As a matter of fact, spending a lot of hours will increase economical conditions, earn some money, and at the weekend, people will get lots of moments for happiness. Full-time jobs, notably for ones who are passionate about the job,
also
Linking Words
 have an ability to increase professional skills that are important to find a job in other more developed companies.
Thus
Linking Words
, it can raise the peak of the company's quality.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, working long hours would make the workforce feel exhausted, and the health can be decreased. Leisure time is truly beneficial to keep healthy. Taking over than 8 hours per day for working is an unnormal way which could make employee being unfocused to do all stuff in their lives, and probably affected to depression.
Instead
Linking Words
 of the health part, it can impact the management space for families and folks. As a final point, having a free-time for other errands or activities is very important for many aspects. As was previously stated, a full-time job will be dangerous and impactful to do important things in life.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: