Some people believe that companies should be allowed to collect data about customers freely, while others believe this practice should be restricted. Discuss both sides of this issue.

Privacy is an imperative need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
an individual to feel secure. Some believe that organisations should be given permission to take people's
detail
Fix the agreement mistake
details
show examples
easily,
Whereas
, others think it should be banned.
This
essay will discuss the reasons for both views which are the rise in fraud cases and the growing business in detail. On the one hand, companies shouldn't be allowed to receive data from customers because it might breach their privacy.
For example
, nowadays people are getting a lot of fake calls related to their banking information which
are leading
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
to online bank theft, forgery and so on.
Furthermore
, people become more prone to fraud which can harm them in different ways
such
as physical, mental and social.So
to conclude
, an organisation should restrict their workers from collecting personal information from buyers.
On the other hand
, industries should be allowed to collect the details from the folks because data collection is the easiest method to research the target population who might be interested in their product or services.
For instance
, a recent study has shown that 90% of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies conduct frequent surveys to know more about their growth and future outcomes. To explain
further
, knowing about the age group and gender of the consumers
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
them in identifying the targeted buyers.So
to sum up
, it's good for an organisation to learn more about their business trajectory. In conclusion, safety is a basic physiological need
that is
everyone's right and
this
essay
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
discussed both notions
why
Change preposition
of why
show examples
customer's
Change noun form
customer
show examples
privacy is a matter of concern and that's why corporations allow or restrict the taking
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
client's particulars.
Submitted by jayasingh352 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific point related to the topic. Introduction and conclusion are present but can be more developed to provide a clear overview of the discussion.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use transition words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Work on organizing the essay more cohesively by connecting ideas logically throughout the response.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • personalized
  • targeted
  • advertising
  • improved
  • products
  • services
  • efficient
  • decision-making
  • invasion
  • privacy
  • misuse
  • security
  • risks
  • manipulation
  • discrimination
  • consent
  • control
  • regulation
  • innovation
  • balance
  • convenience
  • implementing
  • protection
  • transparency
  • accountability
  • ethical
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!