IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Internet should be used for children. Do you agree?

#internet #children
The
Internet
 is an essential part of day-to-day life. The
internet
 has become so popular that even
children
 are having easy access to the
internet
 and handheld devices. Even though the
internet
 has made life easy for
children
 there are some other aspects which are to be considered. We can discuss the merit and demerits of
this
internet
 usage in the following paragraphs. The
Internet
 has made the
world
 closer;
this
 enables
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
 to interact with their peers in an easy and comfortable way.
Additionally
, it allows them to take advantage of easy access to the
world
 of knowledge,
for
instance
Add the comma(s)
,instance
show examples
 earlier, to get information about something
children
need
Add the particle
to need
show examples
 to refer to a lot of books and other stuff to get a single piece of information but with the
internet
 has eased these efforts.
On the contrary
, the
internet
 comes with a lot of adverse effects on
Children
.
Firstly
, it makes them addicted to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology in the earlier stages of life where they are ought to explore the
world
.
Secondly
, their relationship with
outside
Correct article usage
the outside
show examples
world
 sores.
Finally
, it can damage their eyes and character.
Internet
come
Change the verb form
comes
show examples
 with both positives and negatives, it is the parents who must control and provide guidance so that
children
 can be benefitted
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the
internet
.
Submitted by frederickcr.online on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: