Research has shown that overeating is as harmful as smoking. Therefore, the advertising of certain food products should be banned in the same way as the advertising of cigarettes in some countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#research #food #products #cigarettes #countries

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While I understand that critics may see

this

as an invasion of free enterprise, I would argue AGAINST

this

phenomenon much more than

support

Correct pronoun usage

itsupport

show examples

. I would argue that

this

holds

such

a compelling notion, and I personally

support

the idea of banning

food

publication. It is undeniable that the prohibition of some

food

products promotion helps tackle a few health problems,

for example

, obesity is a big threat to the young generation. TV advertising gives foodies more opportunities to keep them posted with the latest

food

products.

This

means that people tend to try new flavours and sometimes, they buy much more than they really need.

As a result

, they might get too much sugar and oil to get obese. What’s more, obesity might lead to other diseases, especially heart attacks.

For example

, forbidding Tim Tam biscuits contains a great amount of sugar which more likely helps to solve these problems.

However

although

overeating can truly affect our health, there is no evidence to show that the promotion of foods can cause

food

addiction since customers' choices are unchangeable due to advertising. As a matter of fact, a gato looks so scrumptious but foodies who hate sweets

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

might never consider buying it in the

first

place.

Additionally

, people have their own choice about their favourite

food

. Overeating any kind of

food

can

also

impact our bodies but

this

is not a reason to ban all promotions of foods. In conclusion, it is understandable why some may

support

food

product advertising bans.

However

, I cannot

support

such

a view given the aforementioned reasons.

Submitted by nghi.bella.phan on Wed Mar 02 2022

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I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
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2
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Introduction & conclusion present

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Lexical resource: 7.0

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Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

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4 paragraphs

261 words

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Research has shown that overeating is as harmful as smoking. Therefore, the advertising of certain food products should be banned in the same way as the advertising of cigarettes in some countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many believe that being good at a sport is result of talent while others think that it comes from hard work. Discuss both views and give your reasons.

Nowadays, many people have easy access to computers and a large number of children play computer games.

Some employers want to be able to contact their staff all the time including holidays. Do you think the advantages of this are more than its disadvantages?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?