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Band 2.5

In many countries children are getting fatter and less fit day by day. Why is it so and suggest solution.

#countries #children
Rising living standards in the country will benefit more
cities
 than
villages
. Due to the fact that
,
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apply
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cities
 are the capitals of the country and many manufacturing enterprises, offices and organizations are located in the city.
That is
way
Correct your spelling
why
show examples
, there will be more
jobs
 in the
cities
 and a better monthly or weekly wage will be enough. Rural
areas
 have more workers but fewer
jobs
. Due to the fact that
,
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apply
show examples
 many
villages
 have
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 production networks as in
cities
. Which creates problems
such
 as low wages in rural
areas
 and a shortage of
works
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workers
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. I think, that in order to prevent
these problem
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
. They need to increase the number of business organizations in rural
areas
, as in
cities
 and it is necessary to train good specialists for each field. That's how
jobs
 will be created
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 the rural population will be well paid. But not all
villages
 have
industrical
Correct your spelling
industrial
 facilities. Due to the fact that
,
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apply
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 some
villages
 will be used for agriculture and animal husbandry. Rural
areas
 and animal husbandry can be commercialized and
jobs
 can be created, which will improve the wages of the rural population. In conclusion, I agree with both of them that
such
 problems should be solved based on the situation in the country.
Submitted by Weallneedit9 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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