IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In many countries children are getting fatter and less fit day by day. Why is it so and suggest solution.

#countries #children
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Rising living standards in the country will benefit more
cities
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 than
villages
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. Due to the fact that
,
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apply
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cities
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 are the capitals of the country and many manufacturing enterprises, offices and organizations are located in the city.
That is
Linking Words
way
Correct your spelling
why
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, there will be more
jobs
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 in the
cities
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 and a better monthly or weekly wage will be enough. Rural
areas
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 have more workers but fewer
jobs
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. Due to the fact that
,
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apply
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 many
villages
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 have
not
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no
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 production networks as in
cities
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. Which creates problems
such
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 as low wages in rural
areas
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 and a shortage of
works
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workers
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. I think, that in order to prevent
these problem
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
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. They need to increase the number of business organizations in rural
areas
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, as in
cities
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 and it is necessary to train good specialists for each field. That's how
jobs
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 will be created
an
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and
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 the rural population will be well paid. But not all
villages
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 have
industrical
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industrial
 facilities. Due to the fact that
,
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apply
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 some
villages
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 will be used for agriculture and animal husbandry. Rural
areas
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 and animal husbandry can be commercialized and
jobs
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 can be created, which will improve the wages of the rural population. In conclusion, I agree with both of them that
such
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 problems should be solved based on the situation in the country.
Submitted by Weallneedit9 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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