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Band 4.5

In some counties, it is now possible for people to buy products made in other counties. To what extent do the benefits of this development outweigh the problems?

#counties #people #products #development
Nowadays, globalization caused people to buy more goods from peer
countries
, while
purchase
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purchasing
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 fewer products from their own
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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. With that in mind, buying commodities from other
countries
 results in both positive and negative effects,
reseachers
Correct your spelling
researchers
 argue whether the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
This
 analysis opines that the positive benefits of importing goods surpass the negative repercussions due to the cheaper cost
production
Change preposition
of production
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 and regional uncommon commodity. Importing helps reduce
manufacture
Replace the word
manufacturing
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cost
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costs
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 which results in higher efficiency of
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
 economical strategies. Every
country
 has a substantial minimum wage gap, from 0.5 USD per day up to 50 USD.
This
 provides a cheaper production cost by purchasing from low minimum wage
countries
, while
creates
Wrong verb form
creating
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 a chance to sell at
much
Add an article
a much
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 higher rate and profit at the same time.
For instance
, Starbucks bought coffee beans from Thailand
instead
 of buying from U.S. farmers. Some
countries
 don't have a certain commodity in their own sites so they need to import from other
countries
. In fact,
this
 type of
importing
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import
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 is essential to every single
country
 around the world because none of the
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
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 has all the resources. The most common example is oil, despite the fact that
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 Kingdom is
sonorous
Correct article usage
a sonorous
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 individual, they still have to buy gasoline imperatively from Russia and Dubai because crude oil doesn't exist in their area. In conclusion, purchasing goods from other
countries
is
Change the verb form
are
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 more beneficial than drawbacks because of
cost-effective
Replace the word
cost-effectiveness
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 and lack of regional resources. Reality is multifaceted, it is best to
also
 consider the negative effects and make
Add an article
a change
the change
show examples
change
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the law if
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
.
Submitted by mai3637 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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