The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the healthcare system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that way to deal with the problem is to introduce more physical education in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

First
of all, I believe that a more necessary thing than providing more physical education
activities
in educational facilities is the improvement of eating habits. Many countries have already executed sufficient physical
activities
in school.
For instance
, in the case of Germany and France, they perform 4 hours or more physical training classes per week. It is seldom different from the time of main subjects
such
as literature, mathematics, English. Despite these numerous physical education hours, the rising juvenile obesity phenomenon is associated with their dietary habits. We can know through the United States’ example. America is the country that affords the most advanced fitness
activities
both qualitatively and quantitatively in the academy .
However
, the country’s adolescent obesity rate is the worst among OECD nations. The States is well known that consume excessive calories, sugar, and sodium.
Therefore
, above all things, schools and parents should attempt the pickup of their children's diet to address
this
social problem .
Secondly
, it can be a more effective approach that schools and the
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
offer enjoyable after-school physical
activities
to students and induce them to participate in the
activities
. Compared to the past, in most countries, after-school pupils’ physical activity hours have considerably decreased, whereas physical education classes have gradually increased. All over the world, youth exercise amounts have declined above 20% compared to around two to three decades. According to several reliable investigations, it is related to young people’s leisure.
Thus
, various educational organizations and parents need to encourage by utilizing practical means, which their children exercise more. In conclusion, I firmly believe that providing more physical training is not a realistic way to cope with the growing obese population.
Submitted by postivpower on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Childhood obesity
  • Healthcare burden
  • Physical education (PE)
  • Healthy habits
  • Dietary education
  • Lifestyle diseases
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Curriculum overload
  • Inclusivity in education
  • Sedentary lifestyle
What to do next:
Look at other essays: