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Band 5.5

Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on the protection of wild animals. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion ?

#people #amount #time #money #protection #animals
Over the
last
 few decades, there is a considerable increase in the number of species
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 are put
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the red list. Many people claim that governments and
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 should fund more on the protection of animals, whereas opponents of
this
 statement maintain that it worth spending
money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other projects. There are many reasons why
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
money
 on protecting animals is necessary.
First
, due to habitat destruction , which is commonly caused by deforestation and global warming, many
animal
Change to a plural noun
animals
show examples
 can’t
Correct your spelling
adapt
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adopt
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adapt
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 fast enough.
Therefore
, funding for reserves is crucial.
Researches
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Research
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 have shown, a lot of species are on the verge of extinction, as the result, breeding
centers
Change the spelling
centres
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 need to be
build
Wrong verb form
built
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 to increase the number of cubs and maintain their popularity.
Furthermore
, poachers are a threat to them so that
gorvenments
Correct your spelling
governments
 have to
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 on parols to protect
wildlife
 and fight against them. On the other
hands
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hand
show examples
, budgets can be spent on various other
thing
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things
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.
Money
Correct your spelling
might
mights
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might
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be spend
Change the verb form
be spent
be spending
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 on educating children to raise awareness . The future generation will appreciate
wildlife
 and poaching will reduce. In fact, in many countries which have
such
 a low living standard, people tend to do hunting for their living. By helping to raise
countries
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countries'
country's
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ecomonic
Correct your spelling
economic
,
peole
Correct your spelling
people
 bring benefits to
forest
Fix the agreement mistake
forests
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 and
wildlife
. In conclusion, It is true that funding in parols, reserves brings many benefits to animals.
However
,
money
also
need
Change the verb form
needs
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 to be spent on other activities
such
 as education and
economic
Replace the word
economics
show examples
. Having considered both sides, I firmly believe that
money
 should be spent on
wildlife
 protection.
Submitted by nguyenminhman21691 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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