IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

It is important to give children the opportunity to continue independently and make decisions at an early age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #opportunity #decisions #age
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
I STRONGLY OBJECT THAT YOUNGSTERS SHOULD MAKE DECISIONS ON THEIR OWN AT A VERY EARLY AGE OR TO DO
stuff
Use synonyms
 ON THEIR OWN.
Linking Words
THIS
Correct determiner usage
THE
show examples
 FOLLOWING ESSAY WILL DISCUSS
FIRSTLY
Linking Words
 WHY IT IS CRUCIAL TO INVOLVE GUARDIANS IN
THIS
Linking Words
 SCENARIO AND
SECONDLY
Linking Words
 HOW THEY CAN DO IT.
TO BEGIN
Linking Words
 WITH , IT IS KNOWN THAT EVERY INDIVIDUAL HAS THEIR OWN HUMAN RIGHTS TO MAKE
stuff
Use synonyms
 THE WAY THEY WANT TO. ,
HOWEVER
Linking Words
 AT
THIS
Linking Words
 EARLY STAGE OF LIFE DECISION-MAKING CAPABILITIES ARE PROVOKED OR INFLUENCED BY OTHERS OR BY PEER GROUPS.
THEREFORE
Linking Words
 IT SOMETIMES COST THEM WITH THEIR LIFE . SO APPARENTLY LEAVING THEM WITH THEIR OWN FEET WILL BE A FOOLISH STEP.
FOR EXAMPLE
Linking Words
, INCIDENT OF CYBERCRIME HAS INCREASED INTENSIVELY SO IF THE CHILD WILL GO TO SOCIAL MEDIA SITE WITHOUT INFORMING THEIR PARENTS CAN ADVERSELY AFFECT THEM AND MIGHT TRAP THEM INTO BAD SITUATION
SUCH
Linking Words
 AS CYBERBULLYING, BLACKMAILING ETC.
FURTHERMORE
Linking Words
, THERE ARE SEVERAL WAYS TO OBSERVE THEM WHICH CAN PREVENT NEGATIVE IMPACT. PARENTS SHOULD ALLOW THE YOUNG ADULTS TO DO
stuff
Use synonyms
 BUT UNDER SUPERVISION.
FOR EXAMPLE
Linking Words
, PLACING THE LAPTOP OR DESKTOP INTO A COMMONPLACE CAN PREVENT THEM TO USE BAD ADULT SITES AS THEY ARE UNDER WATCH.
ADDITIONALLY
Linking Words
 TALKING WITH CHILDREN OVER DINNER OR OVER A DAY OUT REGARDING THEIR VIEWS AND PLANS FOR THE FUTURE CAN BE BENEFICIAL AS THEY CAN GIVE A VALUABLE OPINION . TO CONCLUDE WITH, SUPPORTING THEIR DECISION AND ADDING FEW EXPERIENCE OF GUARDIANS WILL BECOME THE BEST
stuff
Use synonyms
 EVER. I DO THINK INDEPENDENT DECISION IMPLEMENTATION CAN TURN OUT NEGATIVELY IN SOME CASES BUT A SMALL TOUCH OF FAMILY INTERFERENCE CAN DO A MASSIVE CHANGE.
Submitted by kp2006it on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: