We live in an electronic age. It is easier to be connected by technology, yet many people seem no closer to feeling happy in their lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

One major

develpopment

Correct your spelling

development

developments

this

Linking Words

era is the ease with which information and communication devices have linked up individuals around the world. Despite

this

Linking Words

recorded success, many persons have become unexcited about their condition.

This

Linking Words

essay agrees with the view that digital platforms have contributed to human suffering by destroying our traditional ways of social interaction and exposing folks to stress.

To begin

Linking Words

with , modern gadgets have enabled youngsters to simply access each other online.

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

,However

show examples

our cultural ways of

physical

Add an article

the physical

a physical

show examples

meeting which encourages bonding

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

been abandoned by

this

Linking Words

generation.

Consequently

Linking Words

, many teenagers live with a sense of isolation that often leads them to

feeling

Change the verb form

feel

show examples

moody due to loss of joy.

For example

Linking Words

, a student in my street recently committed suicide.

However

Linking Words

investigation

Add an article

the investigation

an investigation

show examples

revealed that he had stopped mingling with family members, who were living under the same roof with him for about a week, despite maintaining contact with an online community.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, newer computers now come with a lot of

softwares

Correct your spelling

software

that had made some

pupil

Fix the agreement mistake

pupils

show examples

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

be spending long hours surfing the internet. Incidentally, increased screen time has been known to be associated with stress due to the many updates that

pops

Change the verb form

pop

show examples

up during sessions.

Linking Words

Consequently

Add a comma

,Consequently

show examples

internet users become frustrated, unhappy and distressed because of these interferences.

For example

Linking Words

, while preparing for an urgent presentation

last

Linking Words

week, I spent long hours online

to gather

Change the verb form

gathering

show examples

materials. Unfortunately, the advert that pop up frequently made it so stressful that I had to pay someone to help me out. In conclusion, android phones have made access to friends simpler nowadays.

However

Linking Words

, I agree that it has

also

Linking Words

made citizens unhappy due to the stress associated with

Change the pronoun

its

show examples

usage and the breakdown of the traditional means of social

cohession

Correct your spelling

cohesion

ibenekpor

Mar 3, 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
You recently saw an advertisement about a business conference that can be helpful for your work. Write a letter to your manager asking permission to attend the conference. In your letter, say: what the conference is about how you know about the conference explain to him/her why it is important that you attend this conference
I am writing this letter to seek your permission to attend an important conference.
6
band
Many expatriates living abroad face significant challenges, particularly when they must communicate in a foreign language. Some argue that this difficulty can lead to serious social and practical problems. I agree with this view, as a lack of fluency in the local language can greatly hinder the ability to form social connections and secure suitable employment opportunities.
Many expats living abroad face significant challenges, as they have to communicate with others in a foreign language which might be difficult for many. Some argue that this challenge could lead to severe social and practical problems. I agree with this view, as lack of fluency in speaking the language of the country of residence can hinder the ability to form social connections and secure a suitable job opportunity.
6
band
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
There is no denying that advertising is a contentious topic. While some believe that companies should emphasize that their products are new, others argue against this approach. This essay will discuss both perspectives and provide my opinion on the matter.
6.5
band
Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?
The core purpose of the research on a particular disease should be to get a cure for that instead of making money from that. There are many poor countries in the world that cannot afford better medication for their citizens because of the high prices. For the sake of humanity, it should be the drug companies' responsibility to make those medicines affordable by making them cheaper.
7.5
band
Write a letter to the gym manager. In your letter ask what types of membership are available, and what the prices are ask what activities are available ask what the joining procedure is
I am inscribing this missive to inquire about the details of you premises subscription charges.

We live in an electronic age. It is easier to be connected by technology, yet many people seem no closer to feeling happy in their lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?

Write a letter to the gym manager. In your letter ask what types of membership are available, and what the prices are ask what activities are available ask what the joining procedure is