IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarket in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples form you knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, there are numerous developments
such
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 as supermarkets and malls where
people
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 are accustomed to going
for
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apply
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shopping. Many
people
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 believe that because of these developments, the local vendors are unable to compete with the giant markets for the same reason that they caused the deaths of local
people
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. For various reasons, I am convinced by the statement to a large extent. The main reason why I believe
this
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 idea is that, in most cases, large companies, which are managed as international
businesses
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, usually try to maximise their profits without paying attention to local culture.
Furthermore
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, they do not support cultural events and customs contrary to local
businesses
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, and it is supposed to have negative impacts on the community. As per observation, many villages existed with their pure culture for thousands of years,
whereas
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 they have changed into modern villages since
businesses
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there
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were there
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.
In addition
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, the fact that the community vitally depends on the native
people
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. As local
businesses
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 fail, more
people
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 leave the area in search of a better life
elsewhere
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.
In other words
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, native
people
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 have to leave their communities,
although
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 they are close to them. Many native
people
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 have abandoned their work in the village area and immigrated, which can be counted as a negative influence on the cultural situation. In conclusion, as it is a common belief that large companies ruin the local communities, I completely agree with
this
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 idea because it affects native
people
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's work and culture. Given
this
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 situation, it seems that giving some support to local
businesses
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 by the government will be helpful.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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