IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The increasing housing problem in big cities has social consequences. Some people say that only government can solve this problem.

#cities #consequences #people #government
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Over recent decades, many companies generally hire workers until they are 60 years old.
Linking Words
However
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,However
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 there are more places than before giving the opportunities for the elders to
work
Use synonyms
continuely
Correct your spelling
continually
continuously
 even they are older than the standard of working age. There
are
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is
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 some
group
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groups
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 of
people
Use synonyms
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
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 that it
Replace the word
affects
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effects
Correct your spelling
affects
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 the hiring rates of
young
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the young
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 generation.
First
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 and foremost, most
of
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apply
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senior
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the senior
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people
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facing
Wrong verb form
face
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 various health problems,
therefore
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, it could be
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 in the jobs which they have fewer of physical productivity compared to young
people
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.
In other words
Linking Words
, they are able to
work
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 but
also
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 need
the
Correct article usage
apply
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supports
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support
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 from
people
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in
Change preposition
of
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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different ages at the same time. In terms of
work
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 experiences, it is deniable that the elderly have numerous experiences which valuable in order to educate young workers, They can provide the working session between the different generations employees . Many successful companies show us
the
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apply
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great examples.
Lastly
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, the feeling of
good
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a good
the good
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 life for some
people
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 might be presented in their
working's
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working
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 life.
Instead
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 of relaxing or wasting time in their house with
famliy
Correct your spelling
family
, they might consider that working is the genuine happiness for them.
For instance
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, IKEA, the
famouse
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famous
 Swedish furniture store, hiring many retirements to
work
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 in IKEA, as from my real experience when I went to
this
Linking Words
 place, these
people
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 really enjoy their jobs,
this
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 could be the feeling I mentioned about the valuable life they would like to
persue
Correct your spelling
pursue
, despite old
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
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 of them. In conclusion, I understand why some
people
Use synonyms
 oppose that
allow
Wrong verb form
allowing
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 senior
people
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 would cause young
people
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
negative ways. Meanwhile, I am of the opinion that
this
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 issue will not be a trouble, in
fact
Add the comma(s)
,fact
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 it
more
Add a missing verb
is more
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beneficials
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for
Add an article
the youngster
a youngster
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youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • housing crisis
  • urban areas
  • affordable housing
  • low-income individuals
  • real estate market
  • price speculation
  • zoning regulations
  • urban sprawl
  • government intervention
  • government policies
  • private sector
  • social consequences
What to do next:
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