IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people like to wear fashionable clothes. Why do you think this is the case? Is this good thing or a bad thing?

#people #clothes #case
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the 21st
century
Add a comma
,century
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media is becoming
essential
Add an article
an essential
show examples
 part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
’s life. Day after day it is growing more to reach everyone on earth. Getting stuck with it
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 affects various aspects of
people
Use synonyms
’s lifestyles. One of them is the way to dress up. Dressing up in
a
Correct determiner usage
one
show examples
 way or another reflects
people
Use synonyms
’s identity.
However
Linking Words
, following
fashion
Use synonyms
 trends is it good or bad?
Clothes
Use synonyms
 act as a mirror that reflects the sense of
people
Use synonyms
. Arranging, buying ,assorting and wearing
clothes
Use synonyms
 reflects one’s identity.
However
Linking Words
, by the thrive of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
medial
Replace the word
media
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is no more true for all cases. Some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 look up to celebrities’
clothe
Change the form of the verb
clothing
show examples
 as a
fashion
Use synonyms
 that should be mimicked to stay updated. Others blindly wear seasonal
fashion
Use synonyms
 trends regardless
if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 it suits them or not. I have friends
for example
Linking Words
 who wear
clothes
Use synonyms
 that doesn’t
fits
Change the verb form
fit
show examples
 them correctly believing that since it is a trend they must follow regardless of their body shapes and their skin
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 choose wisely which
clothes
Use synonyms
 to wear and
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same time are fashionable and trendy. Wearing
elegant
Add an article
an elegant
show examples
 fashionable outfit that suits
people
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is a plus. Being
fashionable
Add an article
a fashionable
show examples
 person is mandatory to fit in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Nowadays
fashion
Use synonyms
 consultants are present to help
people
Use synonyms
 wear suitable outfits that could combine
fashion
Use synonyms
 and
person’s
Correct article usage
a person’s
show examples
 own taste.
As a
Change preposition
A
show examples
 sum up, following
fashion
Use synonyms
 is not a shame but it should be accompanied by different steps. Which are choosing wisely what is suitable to dress as well asking professional consultants if needed for help
Submitted by dr.salmaasinno on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • express individuality
  • boost confidence
  • self-esteem
  • social status
  • designer labels
  • cultural icons
  • art and creativity
  • financial strain
  • overspend
  • fast fashion
  • culture of waste
  • economic growth
What to do next:
Look at other essays: