In many countries teenagers are encouraged to do part-time jobs. What is the situation like in your country? What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of doing part-time jobs?

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Since life started, individuals have sought to live in an excellent environment, but they had no idea how

this

Linking Words

world

Use synonyms

would be formed .

However

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, the crucial factors that lead to these conditions are the variety in culture, religion and morality

as well as

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multiple

languages

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. So , to reach

this

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goal people must agree with the minimum criteria of common values and establish a global

language

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. On

one

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hand, the first issue leading to disagreement is that every country has

own

Correct pronoun usage

its own

show examples

beliefs.if we look around the earth, we notice that each state

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

its own way of living and sometimes even in

one

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land there are lots of various social life.second, another reason for disagreement is that every community have its own way of speech.

For example

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, there

were

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

more than 250

languages

Use synonyms

around the

world

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;for

this

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absence

Correct article usage

the absence

show examples

of common features in the universal is a natural result because they do have a not common

language

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to contact each other.

One

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of the best ways to tackle

this

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issue is to determine common values.

This

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process is done by making international agreements and regulations;

although

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, today there are a lot of international laws we need to activate them to become more effective. sequences, we need to formula

one

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language

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and combat the several existing

languages

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around the

world

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. The English

language

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now is the global

language

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between nations, unfortunately,

this

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is only at the official level , we need to admit

this

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at the social level and completely by encouraging people to understand

one

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language

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and communicate between them and

this

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is done through social media and laws.

To Sum up

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, people

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

aim to enjoy

Change preposition

apply

show examples

one

Use synonyms

land

Change preposition

with

show examples

calm and reassurance. So , the number of different cultures and

languages

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may resist them ;

as a result

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, we need to solve

this

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through social media and regulations. I hope in the near future the

world

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have

one

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language

Use synonyms

and values

mohammedelhassan811Thu May 30 2024

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task achievement

You should focus on clearly understanding the prompt. The essay subject is about teenagers doing part-time jobs, yet your essay discusses the idea of individuals seeking common ground in terms of culture, language, and religion. Make sure to adhere to the given topic.

coherence cohesion

Work on organizing your ideas more logically. The essay takes a broad and somewhat disconnected approach to addressing the issues. Tighten the focus and ensure each paragraph flows logically from one idea to the next.

task achievement

Include more specific examples and explanations for your points. The essay has general ideas but lacks supporting details to make your argument convincing.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph presents a clear idea and supports that idea effectively. Your points on common values and a global language need more detailed development and stronger support.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction that sets up the subject and a conclusion that summarizes your main points.

task achievement

Your writing demonstrates an ability to discuss complex ideas and presents a broad view of cultural and linguistic diversity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

324 words

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In many countries teenagers are encouraged to do part-time jobs. What is the situation like in your country? What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of doing part-time jobs?

Fully explain your ideas

Governments in many countries have recently introduced special taxes on foods and beverages with high levels of sugar. Some think these taxes are a good idea while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.