IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that the activities of large multinational corporations mostly benefit the economies of developing countries. Other people take the opposite view and feel that these large multinationals are general harmful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #activities #corporations #benefit #economies #countries #multinationals
Several individuals have a strong agreement that the activities of large multinational corporations significantly benefit the economies of developing countries.
On the other hand
, other people have a different point of view and feel that those industries are hazardous. The explanation of these statements and my personal opinion regarding
this
 situation will be elaborated on in
this
 essay. Global companies,
such
 as Unilever or Shopee, have been helping the nations in fulfilling the needs of the communities.
For instance
, the famous group
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Samsung has been delivering smartphones to the public, which
results
Wrong verb form
has resulted
show examples
 in the rise of productivity in the
workplaces
Fix the agreement mistake
workplace
show examples
.
In addition
, international organizations may become an inspiration to the locals in creating the same type of business.
For example
, Gojek is an adaptation from Grab which was already running in another land.
Moreover
, the initiative is getting stronger to compete with the previous company because it can modify the model to be suitable for Indonesians.
Nevertheless
, they can cause some troubles, namely: the death of local products and environmental destruction. Their activities in the country might hinder the profit of small businesses. To illustrate, Starbucks Coffee has been dominating in the coffee
shops
Change the noun form
shop
show examples
 competition, which restrains smaller enterprises like Kopi Kenangan to develop themselves.
Furthermore
, they could contribute to natural disasters in a place because of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 fact that they usually do not take responsibility for their waste management system. To summarize, I think we have to prioritize the development of our people by abusing the positive outcomes of global corporations.
Nonetheless
, we must regulate them by creating strict policies to decrease their negative impacts.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph discusses a different aspect of the topic to provide a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion to address the task prompt directly.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and details to support your arguments.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: