It is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people than young people in many countries in the near future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent times, it has been widely claimed that the population is expected that there will be a large proportion of elderly
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
than adolescents in a majority of countries around the world in the
next
Linking Words
time. In my opinion, I certainly believe that it is a huge drawback of development as individuals may lead to extinction and have ancient concepts. Undoubtedly, the primary reason why I think it is a bad result is that if there are retired society more than teenagers,
this
Linking Words
would cause too outdated tradition in terms of perception in everything
such
Linking Words
as consuming food and behaviour. A good example can be seen in Thailand which is my country
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
older public will want their children to eat meals with each other or together and
also
Linking Words
teach some excellent actions to affect to themselves when they make many new friends or join with new communities.
Hence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
will lack contemporary concepts and progression in every kind of situation if young children are
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
too small a proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature.
Moreover
Linking Words
, extinct of human species is another reason why I trust in view of negative perspective as when the elderly individuals are the most population over the earth, it means that humans are close to the death, so
this
Linking Words
will be the most a dangerously huge thing that must not happen in the world.
Although
Linking Words
young folk can seek many opportunities from their number of the population
such
Linking Words
as for
applying
Add the preposition
forapplying
show examples
work and enrolling on new many workplaces,
this
Linking Words
is not the story that should be reverent In conclusion, based on the reasons mentioned above, I strongly think that if
Add an article
the
show examples
retired crowd are more than teenagers, it will exactly cause devastation as nations can be extinct. The lack of modern concepts
also
Linking Words
is a bad thing.
Submitted by Kikikk on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: