IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #boys #girls #schools #benefit
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people argue mixed institutions are a better option for educating
children
Use synonyms
 compared to same-sex ones, while others argue
otherwise
Linking Words
. Regarding
this
Linking Words
 situation, I do reckon both views have their own merits.
However
Linking Words
, co-ed schools are more beneficial for
children
Use synonyms
 in the long run. As commonly known, one of the school's main purposes is preparing
children
Use synonyms
 to adjust to society.
Therefore
Linking Words
, since
gender
Use synonyms
 heterogeneity is the characteristic of our society, mixed schools is a better place to serve
such
Linking Words
 a purpose. In co-ed institution, boys and girls are interacting with each other which encourage them to respect
gender
Use synonyms
 differences while understanding their own strengths and weaknesses.
This
Linking Words
 situation results in less prejudice against one another which leads to more harmonious social environments in the present and in the future.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, single-sex institutions provide a safe atmosphere for
children
Use synonyms
 to foster their interests and intelligence irrespective of their
gender
Use synonyms
 stereotypes. Even in
this
Linking Words
 era of modernization, there are several activities that are strongly linked to a certain
gender
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as physical education, math, and choir. To illustrate, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
same-sex institutions, male students could enter choir clubs without being ashamed of its feminine stereotypes, while girls could excel in physical education without the need to feel conscious about males’ gaze. To conclude, mixed and single-sex education indeed have their own benefit.
However
Linking Words
, based on my observation,
this
Linking Words
 treatment could create an illusion of confidence. After they graduated from school,
children
Use synonyms
 from same-sex schools will have a hard time tackling
gender
Use synonyms
-related prejudices since they are not equipped with the skill to tackle them from an early age.
Submitted by ahmadarifshiddiq99 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • co-education
  • gender segregation
  • peer pressure
  • academic performance
  • gender stereotypes
  • discrimination
  • social skills
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • diversity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: