IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

With access to the internet and social media websites, many children are exposed to a number of dangerous situations. Adults should thus limit access to the internet for their children. Do you agree or disagree?

#access #internet #media #websites #children #situations #adults #limit
Many young
kids
 have
the
Correct article usage
apply
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worldwide web and
the
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apply
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social accounts as they have
the
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apply
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mobile phones in hand which
put
Wrong verb form
puts
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 them into a situation
which
Change preposition
in which
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 they face consequences which have
negative
Add an article
a negative
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 impact on them and
arise
Correct your spelling
raise
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 problems. I agree with
parents
 having to limit the usage of the
internet
.
firstly
 I want to discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
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the usage of the
internet
 by
the
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apply
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kids
 and
secondly
 how it affects them without the supervision of their
parents
.
To begin
 with,
the
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children are becoming addicted to many derogatory websites which are widely available on the
internet
. These unethical and immoral activities on the
internet
 have a disastrous impact on the mentality of young people.
Due to the
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The
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 technology has been tremendously changing;
kids
Correct word choice
and kids
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 are fast in using
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
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. The advancement,
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 the
kids
having
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to have
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 accounts
in
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on
show examples
 different social media platforms and sometimes
have its
Wrong verb form
has
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 consequences which affect the ability of the kid to think and develop.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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kids
of
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apply
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11-14 years of age have accounts
in
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on
show examples
 Social media platforms like Instagram,
Correct pronoun usage
which influenced
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influenced
Wrong verb form
influences
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 them to
an
Correct article usage
the
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 extent that they speak abusive words.
As a result
,
parents
 should prevent access to these sites and monitor their children's use of them at home, ensuring that their children are protected from the indecent info available on the
internet
.
Secondly
, there is a societal evil known as "
Internet
 bullying," which is on the rise.
For example
,
parents
 letting the
kids
having
Wrong verb form
have
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 time intervals on the usage of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 and keeping an on their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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 can reduce the number of
internet
 bullying. In conclusion, the
kids
 have to understand the difference
in
Change preposition
between
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 using the
internet
 wisely and not having problems and
parents
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
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supervision
on
Change preposition
of
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 their
kids
but
Correct word choice
apply
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without affecting the
kids
Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids'
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 freedom
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
necessary.
Submitted by pravleen97 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • dangerous situations
  • limit access to the internet
  • inappropriate content
  • online predators
  • physical and mental health
  • monitoring and guiding
  • online safety
  • school curriculum
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