With access to the internet and social media websites, many children are exposed to a number of dangerous situations. Adults should thus limit access to the internet for their children. Do you agree or disagree?

Many young
kids
have
the
Correct article usage
apply
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worldwide web and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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social accounts as they have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mobile phones in hand which
put
Wrong verb form
puts
show examples
them into a situation
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
they face consequences which have
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
impact on them and
arise
Correct your spelling
raise
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problems. I agree with
parents
having to limit the usage of the
internet
.
firstly
I want to discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the usage of the
internet
by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
kids
and
secondly
how it affects them without the supervision of their
parents
.
To begin
with,
the
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apply
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children are becoming addicted to many derogatory websites which are widely available on the
internet
. These unethical and immoral activities on the
internet
have a disastrous impact on the mentality of young people.
Due to the
Change preposition
The
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technology has been tremendously changing;
kids
Correct word choice
and kids
show examples
are fast in using
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
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. The advancement,
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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the
kids
having
Change the verb form
to have
show examples
accounts
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
different social media platforms and sometimes
have its
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
consequences which affect the ability of the kid to think and develop.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
kids
of
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apply
show examples
11-14 years of age have accounts
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Social media platforms like Instagram,
Correct pronoun usage
which influenced
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influenced
Wrong verb form
influences
show examples
them to
an
Correct article usage
the
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extent that they speak abusive words.
As a result
,
parents
should prevent access to these sites and monitor their children's use of them at home, ensuring that their children are protected from the indecent info available on the
internet
.
Secondly
, there is a societal evil known as "
Internet
bullying," which is on the rise.
For example
,
parents
letting the
kids
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
time intervals on the usage of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
and keeping an on their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
can reduce the number of
internet
bullying. In conclusion, the
kids
have to understand the difference
in
Change preposition
between
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using the
internet
wisely and not having problems and
parents
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
supervision
on
Change preposition
of
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their
kids
but
Correct word choice
apply
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without affecting the
kids
Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids'
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freedom
are
Change the verb form
is
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necessary.
Submitted by pravleen97 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • dangerous situations
  • limit access to the internet
  • inappropriate content
  • online predators
  • physical and mental health
  • monitoring and guiding
  • online safety
  • school curriculum
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