IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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A significant number of businesses value using smart outfits for their
workers
Use synonyms
.
However
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, others regard the standard of what they do as the most vital. Personally, I advocate the second view opposing the first since the quality of work increases the enterprise's income. Albeit, smart dressing has its advantages.
This
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 essay will shed light on both sides of the view and provide anecdotal evidence to prove the arguments. On the one hand, better quality work helps the company's economic growth.
In other words
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, it satisfies customers, soars sales, and lately,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
increased the enterprises' revenues.
For instance
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, the Mota-ENGIL is renowned for dirty- garments used by their mechanical engineer's employees, yet, it is the most successful agency in Australia.
As a result
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, regardless of the type of clothes applied by their
workers
Use synonyms
, clients,
workers
Use synonyms
, and company owners are happy.
Furthermore
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, four-fifths of the world's businesses do not care much about the sort of uniform worn by their
workers
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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,
workers
Use synonyms
' elegancy results in a better healthy environment. It shows a level of organization and
created
Wrong verb form
creates
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 a
welcome
Replace the word
welcoming
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 atmosphere around the business inviting more buyers.
For example
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, in the recent research carried out by the University Zambeze
last
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 year on the shoppers' preferences, dressed smartly receptionists were the most appreciated by them.
Hence
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, more
enterprises'
Fix the agreement mistake
enterprise'
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 items were bought. In conclusion, notwithstanding some benefits garments utilised in companies, the most valued asset is the standard of the task .
Therefore
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, I still oppose
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employers who invest more in employees' elegancy rather than
to perform
Change the verb form
performing
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 quality work.
In addition
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, I recommend that business donors squander more funds
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 capacity building.

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task response
Ensure to address all parts of the essay prompt, including discussing both views and providing a personal opinion. Make sure to examine the impact of dressing smartly and prioritizing quality work on businesses in more detail.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion with a clear introduction and conclusion. To improve further, work on transitioning between ideas more smoothly and consider structuring your paragraphs in a more organized manner.
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