IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

In some places, old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#places #age #cultures #youth
All countries across the world value the
age
 groups differently, some cultures give more value to the older population, while the others give importance to the younger generation. In my opinion, the youth of any country is considered to be the future of the economy and should be valued more,
however
,
this
 essay will discuss both sides of the idea. There are three reasons why it could be argued that the elder people are more valued over the younger generation.
Firstly
, these individuals have witnessed multiple phases of life,
as a result
, they have a calmer approach to life as compared to the other
group
 of individuals.
Secondly
, they come up with a lot of experience in handling multiple tasks, thereby having the ability to deal with situations more smartly as compared to the younger
age
group
.
Lastly
, since they come from a less technologically advanced generation, they tend to give more importance to physical wellbeing.
For example
, as per an article from Times magazine, four out of five people in the
age
 bracket of 35 - 50 years have a well-defined fitness regime.
On the other hand
, two out of five individuals belonging to the
age
group
 of 18 - 35 years consider physical wellbeing as important.
On the contrary
, the youth of any country plays a crucial role in the growth of the economy.
This
group
 is more technologically advanced as compared to the older
age
group
,
hence
, they believe in the concept of smart working as compared to hard working.
Hence
, they have the potential to use time more efficiently and productively.
Furthermore
, growing up in the world of social media has forced them to be more creative and innovative in everything they do.
For instance
, as a young entrepreneur, an individual would have to come up with out-of-the-box solutions to build a successful company. In conclusion, while both
age
 groups have their own advantages, it is important that the government invests resources in developing the youth of the country, as they would help take the economy to the
next
 level.
Submitted by yuktamuthreja on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • repositories of knowledge
  • esteemed
  • insights
  • embedded
  • seeking advice
  • prioritizing
  • premium on innovation
  • dynamism
  • adaptability
  • technological advancements
  • entrepreneurs
  • pioneers
  • indispensable
  • stability
  • harmonious
  • progressive
What to do next:
Look at other essays: