In some countries, children are often told that can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
In some nations, parents are giving a piece of advice to their kids that the key to being a successful person in the future is by working hard. Related to
this
statement, there are several benefits and drawbacks which will I explain in this
essay.
On the one hand, advice about trying hard is having
some advantages for children. Wrong verb form
has
Firstly
, children will have an opportunity to achieve their goals. They can push themselves to be more active in learning. For example
, they can study hard in their school and get high marks. As result
, they would have a high profile in their CV which is good for their future career. Correct article usage
a result
In addition
, a child would have a good character, particularly competitiveness. For instance
, being a student they will invest their time to learn about their subjects which would give
a positive impact on their academic performance. Verb problem
have
Consequently
, if they are getting older, they can compete with their peers to obtain their dream job.
On the other hand
, giving advice about working hard can bring
some negative impacts Verb problem
have
for
Change preposition
on
the
younger people which Correct article usage
apply
connected
Add a missing verb
is connected
with
their mental and attitude. First and foremost, young citizens perhaps tend to pressure themselves to fulfil their to-do list. Change preposition
to
This
means that they do not have time to enjoy their child's life due to
the fact that they spend their time just for study without playing some
games with their classmates. Correct quantifier usage
apply
Furthermore
, this
statement is likely persuading a child to do anything for their dream. This
means that it is having the possibility for young citizens to commit inappropriate attitudes such
as cheating and selfishness.
In conclusion, delivering a message is bringing
some benefits for young generations which Wrong verb form
brings
are having
a good prospect Wrong verb form
have
to
their future career and Change preposition
for
more
competitive. Add a missing verb
are more
However
, these words also
would give
negative impacts on them.Verb problem
have
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improvement
Task Response: Ensure to fully address all aspects of the question by discussing both advantages and disadvantages in more detail.
improvement
Coherence and Cohesion: Work on organizing your ideas more cohesively by using clear paragraph structures and transitions to link your points together.