Many people feel that only the government can make significant shifts in society. However, others think that individuals can have a plethora of influence.

Many people feel that only the
government
can make significant shifts in society.
However
, others think that
individuals
can have a plethora of
influence
Fix the agreement mistake
influences
show examples
. In my essay, I will discuss
this
point and its good and bad sides in the paragraphs below. On the one hand, it is certainly true that the
government
can make significant changes in society. It could be argued that the
government
and the
individuals
around of various, to give you
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
idea, the governments can create a new law, new posts and many more. For
this
reason, I tend to think that
government
can a number of facilities, a case in point,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
can aid
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
indigents, employ and many more.
On the other hand
, I am unconvinced that
individuals
can have numerous
influence
Fix the agreement mistake
influences
show examples
, due to the fact that the law is equal for everyone,
thus
, it seems to me that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals
can not have a lot of influence. One approach would be good
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if the
individuals
serves
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
government
. In my opinion, the situation can be addressed by adopting the methods mentioned above. In conclusion, from my point of view, many people feel that
government
can make significant shifts in society, there is a lot of evidence to support,
consequently
, Personally, I believe that the above idea is
absolutely
Change the adverb
absolute
show examples
truth for me.
Submitted by Weallneedit9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: