The diagrams below show how glass containers, such as glass bottles are produced and recycled

The diagrams below show how glass containers, such as glass bottles are produced and recycled
The diagrams illustrate how
glass
containers are made and recycled. By looking at the diagrams, we can tell that there are three main stages in
glass
production
while
the
glass
recycling process has five main stages. So there are more stages in recycling progress compared to manufacturing. In
glass
production, the first stage is when raw materials
such
as sand, soda ash, limestone and other chemicals that
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
are needed for
glass
are mixed together and melted at a
glass
furnace with
the
Correct article usage
a
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temperature of approximately 1500
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
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C. And molten
glass
are
Change the verb form
is
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get from the furnace and blown into the desired shapes that
needed
Add a missing verb
are needed
show examples
for
glass
containers. The recycling process commences with gathering wasted
glass
containers and collected
glass
bottles are sorted by
colours
Fix the agreement mistake
colour
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.
Next
, these are washed to remove impurities
such
as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dust before
crashed
Wrong verb form
crashing
show examples
into pieces and melting into molten
glass
.
Finally
, the molten
glass
is moulded into new
glass
products.
Submitted by Nobel on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words glass with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "diagrams" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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