The diagrams below show how glass containers, such as glass bottles are produced and recycled

The diagrams below show how glass containers, such as glass bottles are produced and recycled
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The diagrams illustrate how
glass
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containers are made and recycled. By looking at the diagrams, we can tell that there are three main stages in
glass
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production
while
Linking Words
the
glass
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recycling process has five main stages. So there are more stages in recycling progress compared to manufacturing. In
glass
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production, the first stage is when raw materials
such
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as sand, soda ash, limestone and other chemicals that
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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are needed for
glass
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are mixed together and melted at a
glass
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furnace with
the
Correct article usage
a
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temperature of approximately 1500
degree
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degrees
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C. And molten
glass
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are
Change the verb form
is
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get from the furnace and blown into the desired shapes that
needed
Add a missing verb
are needed
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for
glass
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containers. The recycling process commences with gathering wasted
glass
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containers and collected
glass
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bottles are sorted by
colours
Fix the agreement mistake
colour
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.
Next
Linking Words
, these are washed to remove impurities
such
Linking Words
as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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dust before
crashed
Wrong verb form
crashing
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into pieces and melting into molten
glass
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, the molten
glass
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is moulded into new
glass
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products.
Submitted by Nobel on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words glass with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "diagrams" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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