IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagrams below show how glass containers, such as glass bottles are produced and recycled

The diagrams below show how glass containers, such as glass bottles are produced and recycled
The diagrams illustrate how
glass
Use synonyms
 containers are made and recycled. By looking at the diagrams, we can tell that there are three main stages in
glass
Use synonyms
 production
while
Linking Words
 the
glass
Use synonyms
 recycling process has five main stages. So there are more stages in recycling progress compared to manufacturing. In
glass
Use synonyms
 production, the first stage is when raw materials
such
Linking Words
 as sand, soda ash, limestone and other chemicals that
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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are needed for
glass
Use synonyms
 are mixed together and melted at a
glass
Use synonyms
 furnace with
the
Correct article usage
a
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 temperature of approximately 1500
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
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 C. And molten
glass
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
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 get from the furnace and blown into the desired shapes that
needed
Add a missing verb
are needed
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 for
glass
Use synonyms
 containers. The recycling process commences with gathering wasted
glass
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 containers and collected
glass
Use synonyms
 bottles are sorted by
colours
Fix the agreement mistake
colour
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.
Next
Linking Words
, these are washed to remove impurities
such
Linking Words
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dust before
crashed
Wrong verb form
crashing
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 into pieces and melting into molten
glass
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the molten
glass
Use synonyms
 is moulded into new
glass
Use synonyms
 products.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words glass with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagrams" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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