IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People continue to recommit crimes even after being penalized for their wrongdoings. Why do you think this happens? How can crimes be stopped?

#people #recommit #crimes #wrongdoings
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In our ever-changing world,
people
Use synonyms
 do action against the law accompanied
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 a lot of reasons. After They are punished by law for doing wrong things, they will do it again. It is a worse cycle.
This
Linking Words
 essay is going to discuss why
this
Linking Words
 happens and how to fix it.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
people
Use synonyms
 commit crimes always accompanied
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
drugs
Use synonyms
, gambling, money.
The human
Correct article usage
Human
show examples
 can easily use
drugs
Use synonyms
 in stressful situations. In case, we use it one time, it is hard to quit because
drugs
Use synonyms
 have highly addictive. After that,
people
Use synonyms
 will easily break the law for
drugs
Use synonyms
. Gambling is an extremely bad action. It will make us lose all our assets and requires massive money to pay off our debts. In
this
Linking Words
 situation, we will lose our minds and go to robbers to solve the problem. In above both cases, we can observe that there is a high probability of doing the same thing after being punished.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we can increase sentences to make
people
Use synonyms
 afraid of losing their freedom and reduce crime. We can educate
people
Use synonyms
 that these activities are completely wrong as well as can make humans discover new and interesting activities to release pressure.
Then
Linking Words
, the government should strengthen control of these bad
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
. Reduce
people
Use synonyms
 making bad decisions that land them in jail. To sum up, there are many reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 become criminals. Especially, on
drugs
Use synonyms
 and money problems. They always make the same mistake. I provide a method to solve the problem effectively.
Submitted by i60127 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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