Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. What the possible causes of this trend, and what solutions would be effective reducing crime
Teenagers who commit juvenile
crime
tend to be increasing in many countries around the world. I believe that there are two main problems associated with Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
this
issue,
and the number of actions we can take. Perhaps the major problem here is the negligent parent. If teens have Remove the comma
apply
the
careless Correct article usage
apply
parent
, the children seem to Fix the agreement mistake
parents
do
not pay attention Unnecessary verb
apply
on
their academics and skip classes frequently. Change preposition
to
For instance
, according to
the survey, most of
Change preposition
apply
the
juvenile Correct article usage
apply
crime
cases occurs when adolescence absent
from Add a missing verb
are absent
the
class and Correct article usage
apply
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
time
with wrong
people. Another factor is the usage of Correct article usage
the wrong
alcohol
and drug
. The Fix the agreement mistake
drugs
students
who Capitalize word
Students
addicted
to liquor and tobacco are likely to spend Add a missing verb
are addicted
time
in entertainment
way. Add an article
an entertainment
Moreover
, this
leads the teens to commit crime
when they use Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
alcohol
excessively and they could not
control themselves. Turning to possible solutions, one key step would be Wrong verb form
cannot
the
parents Change preposition
for the
should have
to spend Verb problem
apply
a
quality Correct article usage
apply
time
their
teens often and talk Change preposition
with their
each
other like Change preposition
to each
as
friends. BecauseChange preposition
apply
,
it is the crucial Remove the comma
apply
time
which
a young person develops from a child into an adult. A Correct word choice
when
further
remedy might be the government should ban to trade of alcohol
and tobacco in a school area. Furthermore
, if shop owners did not sale
these substances under Replace the word
sell
age
of 21, Correct article usage
the age
the
Correct article usage
apply
teen’s
Change noun form
teen
crime
would decrease definitely. In summary, the factors of negligent parent
and teen usage of Fix the agreement mistake
parents
alcohol
and tobacco appear to be the prime causes. The solution will require combined action by parents, authorities
.Correct word choice
and authorities
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite