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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that children should be tought how to be good citizen at school. Others think that this is the responslibilitiy of parents. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Education is one of the most important aspects of our lives, and
schools
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 should provide guidance on how
students
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 can become responsible members of society. Some people believe
this
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 responsibility belongs to
parents
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,
while
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 others argue that it must be handled by
schools
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. I completely agree with the latter view. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both perspectives and explain my opinion with relevant examples.
Firstly
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, children spend a significant amount of time at school, where they interact with peers and teachers. At
this
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 stage, they might not fully understand the concept of accountability.
Therefore
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, teachers should take the initiative to explain how one can be a good citizen and what
values
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 must be followed to live ethically in a community.
Moreover
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,
schools
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 can create a structured environment where respect, discipline, and social responsibility are taught consistently.
For example
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, in countries
such
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 as Japan and China,
students
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 are taught from a young age that they should offer their
seat
Fix the agreement mistake
seats
show examples
 on public transport to elderly people, pregnant women, or individuals with disabilities.
Such
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 lessons can help
students
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 develop empathy and civic
values
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 that will benefit society in the long run.
On the other hand
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,
parents
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also
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 have a role to play in a child’s character development. Even though many
parents
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 might be busy with work, they should still try to make time for teaching basic moral
values
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 at home.
In addition
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, children can learn many useful habits at home,
such
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 as how to dispose of waste properly, assist with household chores, and treat others with respect. These small actions could shape their attitude toward responsibility.
Moreover
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, when
schools
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 and families work together, they can reinforce each other's efforts, making it more likely that the child will adopt these
values
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 permanently.
To sum up
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,
schools
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 should take an active role in shaping
students
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 into responsible citizens through structured education.
In addition
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,
parents
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 must
also
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 contribute by setting a good example and teaching
values
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 at home. When both sides cooperate, children are more likely to grow into respectful and socially responsible adults.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. This will help support your points more clearly.
task achievement
Try to include more examples from your own life or observations to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion and you stick to it throughout the essay.
task achievement
Your examples, especially from Japan and China, are relevant and support your points well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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