Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. What the possible causes of this trend, and what solutions would be effective reducing crime.

Crime
seems to be increasing in some countries around the world, particularly
teenagers
Change preposition
among teenagers
show examples
and young adults. The causes of
this
appears
Change the verb form
appear
show examples
to be focused on 2 origins and the number of solution
also
appear
Change the verb form
appears
show examples
to be possible. Perhaps the main issue is related to moral
emotion
and we need to give to the teaching of morals in childhood. There is a huge link between moral
emotion
and
crime
. Some research shows that adolescents are more likely to carry out violent acts if they need weak empathy, shame and guilt. There was a simple example
occurred
Correct pronoun usage
that occurred
show examples
in my country a few days ago. A girl spilt hot coffee on the head of another girl who does not know. It shows us that her moral emotional was poor and her self-control was
lack
Wrong verb form
lacking
show examples
. Now she is immediately
labeled
Change the spelling
labelled
show examples
as “bad” in social media. Another cause is too much screen
time
. They spend their free
time
using social media and playing video games and some of them
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
addicted
it
Change preposition
to it
show examples
. Many of them feature unbelievable
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
, bad
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
, aggressive characters and
crime
. It might lead children to believe
such
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
is normal or even desirable. Turning to possible solutions, parents should spend
time
with that
teach
Wrong verb form
teaching
show examples
them morals and
Correct article usage
the
show examples
education system should develop moral development programs. If we did
this
step, children would learn how to control their
emotion
Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
show examples
and they would not commit
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
we should provide a good living environment
which is supporting
Wrong verb form
that supports
show examples
their interest and
connecting
Wrong verb form
connects
show examples
others.
Also
Add a comma
,
show examples
teenagers should find
hobby
Add an article
a hobby
show examples
which is helpful
spending
Change preposition
in spending
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their leisure
time
.
To sum up
,
this
is a problem that
connected
Add a missing verb
is connected
show examples
to moral
emotion
and spending their free
time
and
solution
Add an article
the solution
a solution
show examples
will require parents,
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
system and
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
.
Submitted by alexstudyin on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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