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Band 4

Whoever controls the media also controls opinions and attitudes of the people and there is little can be done to rectify this. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#controls #media #attitudes #people
21st
Correct article usage
The 21st
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 century is the century of connectedness and openness.
This
 is really has become obvious after spreading
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
media
 ways like TV programs,
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 and recently the big explosion of social
media
 websites and devices. We have been destined into a world of no bars and no borders. Whoever controls the
media
also
 controls
opinions
Correct article usage
the opinions
show examples
 and attitudes of
people
.
This
 is true when we talked about websites that monitor the searching words of their
customors
Correct your spelling
customers
 in order to show advertisements and suggested web pages of usual and common used words. Another example of how
media
 control the attitude of
people
 is that
media
 control the amount and the quality of information
that is
Correct your spelling
spread
spreaded
Correct your spelling
spread
show examples
 between
people
 about
specific
Add an article
a specific
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 subject, rendering other
subject
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subjects
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 and
elevate
Wrong verb form
elevating
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 the value of some information
resource
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resources
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 over others.
However
, not only the conscious mind has
playing
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played
show examples
 a role in controlling
people
.
Also
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,Also
show examples
 the unconscious mind is affected
also
 by managing what is repeated in terms of heard words and seen pictures. As we can see
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 tremendous effect of
media
 on
people
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can be explained by many reasons.
Firstly
, It is a fast way of spreading information or even life events of
people
, which creates what is normal and what is common between
people
. Another reason is the widespread
media
 resources ranging from photos, computers, books, or even TV or radio programs.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 it's easy to use for old
people
 and even children.
People
 need that distance between
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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 and
Correct your spelling
themselves
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
 in order to have that critique and observing eye of their thoughts, their norms and their beliefs. With no
Fix the agreement mistake
doubt
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doubts
Add a comma
,doubts
show examples
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 new
media
 technology has brought many benefits to human
people
 need more awareness in order not to let anyone control their lives and their goals through it.
Submitted by xx on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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