IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Besides a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Write 250 words.

#people #internet
Many
people
 argue that the
impact
 of
internet
 advancement can lead to numerous problems.
However
, I will have to disagree with
this
 statement since ,in my opinion, the positive
impact
 of it still outweigh the problem it creates. The
Internet
 has inter-connected
people
 all over the world and made sharing of
information
 is faster than ever.
Hence
,
this
 essay will
further
 elaborate on these two of the many reasons why the
internet
 has a more beneficial
impact
.
Firstly
, the
internet
 has made humans' inter-connection easier compared to what we experienced during the early twenties. Before the
internet
presented
Add a missing verb
was presented
show examples
, humans hardly interact with one another indirectly because the effort to do virtual communication is rather difficult in terms of cost and features limitation.
However
, nowadays, everyone can execute calls easily and even do video calls because of the
internet
 availability.
This
 really helps
people
 in doing their activity
such
 as studying, working, etc. without having to worry about the high cost and geographical limitation.
Therefore
, the
internet
 plays a vital role in human relations today and in fact inevitable because of its significant benefit.
Secondly
, the vast
information
 transfer is
also
 one of the
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
 derived from the
internet
.
People
 can access anything directly through a web browser in a timely and without hassle. Not to mention, today, we can
also
 have access to real-time news as long as our device is connected to the
internet
.
This
 really brings transfer of
information
 faster and
people
 all over the world can have equal access to open-source knowledge. Even though lots of
people
 argue that the presence of the
internet
 would bring new problems, I believe it generates more positive
impact
 as ,without it, we can not inter-connect and have vast
information
 flow like today.
Submitted by miarosmia8 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • E-commerce
  • Consumer behavior
  • Virtual marketplace
  • Cybersecurity
  • Digital footprint
  • Return policy
  • Comparison shopping
  • Customer reviews
  • Retail therapy
  • Logistics
  • User interface
  • Payment gateway
What to do next:
Look at other essays: