In some countries, children are often told that can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

It is common to teach
children
that keeping
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
is the only way to achieve
success
while it may
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
some drawbacks. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
I will consider both sides of the argument. On the one hand, working hard to access
success
is a useful sentence for parents to encourage their
children
.
However
,
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of checking the method of learning will be the problem to make progress. Without teaching
children
how to check their own schedule and arrange a new plan may
result
Add the preposition
inresult
fromresult
show examples
some consequences.
Moreover
,
children
may
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
confidence and creativity soon if they failed from following
this
advice.
On the other hand
, the spirit of never
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
up actually helped many
people
to get
success
.
For example
, the Olympics athlete from China always shared their tips to reach their goal which is the same sentence above. They have been trained all day long since they were
children
.
This
message motivated
people
who always want to give up once they encounter
difficult
Add an article
a difficult
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
.
Furthermore
, the tip
also
encouraged
people
to believe in
yourself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
and the condition will be
brighten
Wrong verb form
brightened
show examples
up in the future. In conclusion,
although
keep working hard to make
success
inspire
people
to believe
themselves
Change preposition
in themselves
show examples
, I still consider that
organize
Wrong verb form
organising
show examples
a suitable learning plan is more important for learners.
Submitted by wanda320 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: