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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of mpney are better prepared to dealwith the prblems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#children #families #amounts #mpney #dealwith #prblems #adult #life #parents
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Most people believe that a kid raised from poor families are more capable of coping the adult issues than
the
Change the word
their
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 wealthy peers. I agree with
this
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 opinion.
kids
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 who grew up in a rich family may be spoiled as other presumes, their parents offer them
Correct your spelling
better living
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better-living
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better living
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 conditions and higher educations. These may assist them with an easier path to succeed compared to ordinary families.
Furthermore
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, when wealthy
kids
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 step into society, their parents can lend them a hand when they need support, either financially or professionally.
For example
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, most people know that bill gates created Microsoft, ,
however
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 the fact his mom works in the high-power hierarchy of the IBM corporation allowed him to gain the insight and the
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first mover
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first-mover
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 advantages to building the Microsoft empire. Especially when the wealthy family
kids
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 are
failed
Wrong verb form
failing
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 in their career, their family can always offer them a
second
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 chance to stand up and fight. When it comes to the poor family raised
kids
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, things are all become different, when they were young, the rigorous and unwealthy environment cultivated them to be more mature and sophisticated than their peers. experiencing poor means they need to understand the importance of money,
as a result
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, they need to do be independent while there is no one who can back them up. While they were not possessed with privileges of multiple tryouts and failures. It is necessary for them to strive on their own path, meanwhile being consistent and persistent, which are the essential skills and mindsets to survive. As they perceived life are full of obstacles and challenges when they were young, they were able to be more prepared than their peers when it comes to future issues. because they cannot afford the sink costs as an individual, they were forced to grow and learn to cope with any possible situations. To sum up, the
kids
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 raised in the wealthy family own more privileges compared to the poor
kids
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 who experienced challenges when they were young, essential the poor
kids
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 cope with issues better than them as they grow up.
Submitted by chaeunjun on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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