Nowadays, it is increasingly more difficult to maintain the right balance between work and other aspects of one’s life, such as time with family and leisure needs. How important do you think is this balance? Why do people find it hard to achieve?

Work-life balance is one of the new generation problems. Employees tend to forget their family and happiness in the pursuit of becoming richer.
This
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leads to an alarming situation that has to be tackled with utmost priority. The following passage describes the significance of balancing different aspects and how to achieve the same.
Firstly
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, an imbalanced life leads to stress.
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affects an individual's physical and mental health and
also
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causes social problems.
For instance
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, a person who feels stressed will take the support of alcohol
which
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, which
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unleashes his anger and leads to social menace.
Secondly
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, it causes family issues. Improper balancing of family and work can cause disputes in family life.
Moreover
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, recent studies have pointed out that most divorces
happened
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happen
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because of the workaholic nature of either life partner.
On the other hand
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,
this
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problem could be easily eliminated by creating a good atmosphere. Employees should be given enough off days to spend with the family
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, and
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in case there is a higher workload on specific days
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such
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, such
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as the end of the month or year, workers should be given compensation off days after that hectic schedule. In conclusion, modern problems require modern solutions
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, and
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employers have to take steps to improve the office atmosphere of their employees so as to improve their efficiency.

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positive
The plan is clear with an intro, body, and conclusion.
grammar
Use simple, direct sentences to make ideas easy to follow.
content
Give more real examples or facts to support points.
lexical
Check word choice and fix small grammar issues to improve accuracy.
structure
Keep ideas on work balance and avoid too much new info.
structure
Clear plan with intro, body, and conclusion.
coherence
Good use of signpost words like firstly, secondly, and in conclusion.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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