IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some think government spending on infrastructure (transport, housing etc) is considered the most important for a nation. While others believe that education, health and HR values more important areas for government expenditure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#think #government #infrastructure #transport #nation #education #health #hr #values #areas #expenditure
Some argue
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should invest in building infrastructure whereas others believe providing
education
, medical and
job
opportunities
 is much more important for a
country
.
However
, in my opinion,
state's
Correct article usage
the state's
show examples
first
 priority is to provide ample access to
education
 and medical services for everyone. Making life easier and
comfortable
Correct quantifier usage
more comfortable
show examples
 for every citizen might be the reason behind people belief who think spending on infrastructure is crucial for a nation. In developing countries where
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 belongs to
middle
Add an article
the middle
show examples
 class who are not able to buy a car or other vehicle,
then
 it is the responsibility of
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 to provide cheaper transportation services so that they can commute to their workplace and home by just paying little money.
Furthermore
,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a person with
average
Correct article usage
an average
show examples
 income who can only
fufill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 his basic needs
such
 as clothes and
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 cannot even think of buying
home
Correct article usage
a home
show examples
.
Hence
 some think,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should
also
 invest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 housing for
much needed
Add a hyphen
much-needed
show examples
 people.
On the other hand
who
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 supports the view that
government
 emphasizes should be on creating more educational
institute
Fix the agreement mistake
institutes
show examples
, hospitals, and better
job
opportunities
 for its public . Because it is
basic
Add an article
a basic
the basic
show examples
 right of every citizen to get
education
Add an article
an education
the education
show examples
 and good health facilities. Investing in industries
also
 develop the
job
opportunities
 between the younger population who will ultimately contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
Correct article usage
the nations
show examples
nations
Change noun form
nation's
show examples
 economy and will make effort to
built
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 future for their
country
. There is no doubt,
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 and educated population is
further
assets
Fix the agreement mistake
asset
show examples
 of a
country
.
Hence
 it is
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
government
Change noun form
government's
show examples
 primary responsibility to make efforts in the betterment of
education
 and medical systems. To conclude, good hospitals, free
education
 and
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of
job
opportunities
 will benefit the
country
 so
government
 should invest in these sectors
first
.
Submitted by kalraharman6 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic growth
  • job creation
  • foreign investments
  • business operations
  • traffic congestion
  • pollution
  • quality of life
  • homelessness
  • affordable living conditions
  • knowledgeable workforce
  • skilled workforce
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • public health
  • life expectancy
  • burden of diseases
  • employee satisfaction
  • employee retention
  • long-term benefits
  • immediate economic gains
What to do next:
Look at other essays: